How to Keep the Romance Going,The Spark in the Bedroom, and Your Relationship HOT in the Long Term

We've all seen those couples. They are probably over 60 and married at least 30 years. They could be in a new relationship but somehow you know they aren't even though they walk hand in hand and share secrets. How do they do it? That's always the first thing I ask myself after joining the other onlookers in admiration. Maybe you see them on a television show or in a newspaper article featuring folks married 50 years or more. When asked how they kept their relationship going all these years there is usually an innocuous answer like, "He was the most handsome boy at the dance and he still is to me." The truth is, more than likely, this is a couple that knows the simple practices that help keep love alive and romance in your love. I've devised a small guide to help you keep your long term relationship hot enough to withstand almost anything thrown at it. Most of these ideas are very basic.

No one likes a grouchy person let alone can live with one for 50 years, so smile. There is inordinate truth to the axiom "smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone." Try it.

Say something nice to your partner every day. Easier said than done I realize, but with practice you'll get better. Everyone loves a compliment! They are one of those things that if you don't give them out, you're less likely to get them. Also, people need their egos stroked. If that doesn't happen at home...well you get where I'm going with this I'm sure.

Carve couple alone time out of every day and every week. Each day find at least 15 minutes to spend alone with your significant other. Busy schedules, work, kids, can all get in the way, but schedule it and make it happen. Go out on dates once a week. These don't have to be extravaganzas, just simple dates, dinner, a movie, a trip to the beach. Any romantic relationship needs fuel. Dates are the fuel in this case, plus you may develop new interests in common, and you'll have fun together. This alone time is also an easy way to develop the friendship factor, another necessary element of a life time commitment.

This next one is more difficult than one would think, and it sounds corny and cliche', but it's well worth a try. Never go to bed angry. This may mean that you can't start a serious discussion a half hour before bedtime. It may mean you have to swallow your pride and be the first to say "I'm sorry." Whatever it takes, try it because going to bed with your backs toward each other in anger, makes it a cold, cold place.

Now for the good stuff. The things you can do that are simple and easy to improve your sex life at least a little over the years. If nothing else they can't hurt.

Turn your bedroom in to a peaceful sanctuary. Please get the laundry baskets and stacks of Sunday newspapers out of there! Clutter isn't peaceful. If you need a new mattress and bedding, go for it! Keep both partners tastes in mind while doing this shopping. Family photographs and paintings are nice for the walls, as are room darkening shades. Create a room you can both enjoy and look forward to each day.

Scented candles add a romantic mood to the bedroom. Place them strategically and you may not have to light them for the aroma. Light them to cast a sexy glow on your skin. Everyone looks better in candle light.

Revamp your bedroom wardrobe. Get rid of those old flannel PJ's with holes and rips. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that attractive, and maybe even downright sexy lingerie and boxers will be appreciated by your life partner.

Smell good. How's that for basic info? This doesn't mean heavy cologne and body lotions, clean is a nice smell.

Add an element of surprise on occasion. Everybody can get in a rut in long term relationships if they aren't careful. Add change and surprise once in a while, whether it be a new sex position you want to try, or shutting off the television and turning on soft music instead. It won't be same old, same old, and that's a good thing.

Last on my list of suggestions, but very important is again a cliche'. Treat your partner the way you want them to treat you. That one alone could be the key to successful long term relationships.