How to Keep Your Sex Life Alive

How to keep your sex life alive? How many books, magazine articles and advice columns have made their fortune answering this question? It's a dilemma for any post-honeymooner phase relationship. While sex may not be the end all and be all of a healthy relationship, it is usually among the top priorities even if we don't admit it. Having a healthy active sex life not only makes for happy couples, but also helps a persons overall sense of being.

Once you've overcome the newness of a person and settle into the ordinary humdrum of everyday life, how to keep that spark alive can become quite an enigma. Many couples make the mistake of falling into a sex routine. This can diminish the excitement and anticipation of any sexual relationship by turning it into a chore instead of a sincere act of love and expressiveness.

One thing that can help couples to break out of a rut is to remember what caused the spark to be there to begin with. What made him/her so attractive to me? What made me enjoy the sex so much? What made him or her respond so great when we were having sex? The familiarity of a thing can cause us to overlook its uniqueness.

Couples know certain touch points after they have been together for a while. They overlook the unexplored territory of the body and emotions of their partner going for the more familiar terrain. Couples skip the foreplay and go straight to the act of sex, which is what makes for monotony and mundaneness. Now foreplay can come in many forms, from taking your partner for a spontaneous night on the town to something simple like planning a cuddle session at home with dinner and a rented movie. You know your partner best, think about what they like and use it. Keeping the romance alive in your relationship is also a big asset for your sex life. Leaving little notes to each other, calling each other at from work, letting your partner know you are still interested in them helps to add to the anticipation of a future rendezvous.

Another problem with physical relationships is that you just assume that you know your partner well enough to know everything they like. Fantasy can be an interesting way to put a little zing into your sex life, after all, weren't you fantasizing about each other to begin with? Now it's not necessary to go out and dye your hair pink and buy a bull whip, but adding an interesting twist to the bedroom routine from time to time can add to the mystery and enjoyment
of a sexual relationship. Don't assume your partner won't want to try anything new just because they have never introduced new things. Talk to each other about your fantasies, while you may not be able to produce every element, you can certainly experiment with incorporating each others fantasies into your sexual relationship. This can be something as simple as changing your "usual" position.

Setting the mood is also important. The boudoir should be a safe place for you each to be able to shed your inhibitions and enjoy being with each other, not a storage room for all your left over winter clothing that won't fit in the closet or a den where you watch TV. Make the bedroom an enjoyable place to be by keeping it neat and tidy, maybe adding a little mood lighting with a few well placed candles.

Spontaneity is another great way to enhance your sex life. A favorite expression among many married couples, " a quickie a day keeps the divorce lawyers away". While it's not necessary to find time to have sex everyday, a short trip away from daily activities from time to time can thrill your loved one beyond belief. Be reasonable, try not to interrupt a lunch appointment with an important client by showing up at the office in your tidy whities.

The best advice of all to keep a great and active sex life, retain respect and consideration for your partner on all levels. When a person feels loved, understood and accepted, it's easy to spark up a flame that is already kindled.