How I Kicked My Smoking Habit

It made me look cool.

Everyone had told me cigarettes didn't make you look cool. Everyone had told me girls wouldn't want to be around a kid who smelled like smoke. Everyone had told me smoking was a nasty habit and would kill me.

I smoked anyway, especially because everyone told me it was dangerous and forbidden.

I smoked once or twice a week, and figured I wasn't really a "smoker" at that rate. Over the next few months I gradually built up to one or two a day, all the while hiding the newly forming habit from family and the few friends I had who would have disapproved.

All the while I also truly believed I could quit anytime I wanted. And I could have, IF I had wanted to. And I climbed to a pack a day.

The problem is, once you form a smoking habit, you don't want to quit. You might tell folks you want to quit. You might tell yourself you want to quit.

But want is a thing that tips a scale. True want is whatever turns the balance on what you don't want as much.

I attempted to quit smoking three other times in the past. But each of those three times I didn't want to quit more than I wanted another cigarette. There were a couple of times that I went several weeks without smoking, but there was always a time that came when I wanted a cigarette more than I wanted anything else.

At the time of this writing I have been smoke free for 4 weeks, 1 day, 17 hours, and 44 minutes. And I know that I am going to be a non-smoker for the remainder of my life. Because I found something I want more.

I had planned to quit smoking sometime soon. For the past two years I had planned to quit sometime soon. But the plan hadn't been executed due to the lack of want. So my wife provided something I wanted worse than a cigarette.

The one addiction I've had in my life that I can live without but have desperately desired since the day I sold my last one is a motorcycle. And my sweetheart sent me an email 4 weeks ago that said "If you can quit smopking for seven months you can buy a motorcycle".

Now some of you may say I'm 'whipped' because if I was a real man I'd just go get myself a motorcycle and keep smoking. What grown man would ask permission for such a thing from his wife?

Well, if there's something I want more than a motorcycle it's staying married to my wife.

So, this arrangement was the perfect want to outweigh my desire to smoke. I determined to finish my current pack and never light up another. On top of that arrangement, the recent hike in the federal cigarette tax and changes to the contents of the average cigarette to make them safer with burn retardants had made the taste so unpleasant that I really ended up with a perfect storm of keys to unlock my "quitter's will".

Armed with a dream of cruising the Texas roads on a modern two wheeled machine, I made it through the critical first four days without touching a cigarette. Yes, I was crabby, I snapped at co-workers and family, and I sweated and had headaches. But I diodn't want a cigarette. I wanted a motorcycle.

I introduced other rituals into my day to help me cope. I went to World Market and bought several types of exotic teas. When I got to the times in the day that I previously would have taken a smoke break, I went to the breakroon instead and fixed myself a hot cup of herbal tea, and was very meticulous on the way I put it together and how much sugar I put in. I found that ritualizing the making of the tea was just as satisfying as whipping out the old Zippo and lighting up.

There were no patches or pills, I did it all cold turkey this time. When the fourth day was over, I somehow knew this time that I had it licked. Previous times I've quit there was always that sliver of doubt in my mind that knew sooner or later I was going to pick them back up, because I was going to want them more than anything that I couldn't have if I had them.

This time the goal wasn't just that "You'll feel better, you'll live longer," stuff that isn't tangible.

This time I could go to the Triumph dealership and test ride that massive Rocket III, feel the power and dream the dream.

This time I could get as close to flying as a man possibly can without leaving the earth and know that that was going to be my reward come Novemeber 4, 2009. Maybe sooner. It's totally worth it...and I soooo want it.

Cigarette? What's a cigarette?

I only have cravings for two wheels, a powerhouse motor, and the open road.