How to Get Your Kids to Stop Fighting: The Stone Jar Remedy

How to Get Your Kids to Stop Fighting: The Stone Jar Remedy - Ok, I know all of you who have two or more kids are always trying to figure out a way to get your kids to stop fighting!! If your kids are perfect angels and don't fight with each other, then please, LET ME KNOW YOUR SECRET! I have two kids, a four year old and a three year old, and Oh My God, when does the fighting ever end!! I swear my kids were so bad that I had to give MYSELF a timeout!! (I'm totally serious!) I would just look at them and think, I'm going to go crazy if I don't get away from all the whining, crying, tattle telling, lying on each other, hitting, and much much more. All you parents know exactly what I am talking about!

I would always try and figure out ways to stop them from fighting with each other. (yes, even bribery!!) It was getting so bad that I never even wanted to take them out in public at any time! Don't even get me started on the tantrums they would throw if they saw a toy and I said no when they asked for it! SO embarrassing!! And not just the tantrum that they would throw, but the looks that I got from the people that witnessed it! (Like their children were so perfect!)

So needless to say, I was a desperate woman trying to find all kinds of ways to control my children! I finally came up with The Stone Jar. (yep, the name grows on you..) I was going through my 'throw everything here cause I'm too lazy to put it up' drawer one day and I found all these stones that I use to use in my fish tank (yeah, a fish needs to be fed every day...don't worry, I'm better with my kids). Anyway, I was going to just leave them there for another day to throw away, and that's when it happened....the idea of The Stone Jar!! (I'm sure I heard about a version of it sometime or another but...shh)

I got the stones out and put them in a big jar and then found two smaller jars and wrote my kids' names on them. I put them on a shelf and then called my kids over to explain to them what it is.

What you need:
1 large jar
2 or more smaller jars depending on how many kids you have
enough stones for all of your smaller jars to be filled up
marker to write your kids names on (trust me they will always try and say that the fuller jar is theirs even if it's not)
decorations to decorate your jars (optional)

How it works:
Put all of the stones in the big jar and explain to your kids that whenever they do something good then they will get a stone in their jar. (example: saying please or thank you without having to be told, seeing them share their favorite toy with each other, giving the other a hug just because they wanted to (sooo cute!!), picking up their toys when you ask the first time (yes, that really is possible!!), etc.) But be careful what you award them with a stone for. I was feeling lazy one day and told them whoever gets me a Dr. pepper from the fridge can have a stone in their jar. Now every time one of them brings me a Dr. Pepper, they automatically go put a stone in their jar...but hey, the plus side is I never have to get my lazy self up and get my own drink again!!

Now when they do something bad, you take a stone out of their jar. (example: hitting, not sharing, not listening, whining when they don't get their way, etc.)
Whoever fills their jar up first wins the prize!! My way to do the prize is I would buy a toy and set it behind the jars so that they could see what they were working towards to win. They never tried to take it down to play with it 'cause they knew that they had to win it. You could also use money as a prize or take the winner to the toy store to pick out their own. Don't worry, you're most likely not going to be having to buy a different toy every week. My kids got their stones taken out as fast as they earned them!!

I made sure to put the jars where my kids could reach them. It made them happy and proud to be the one to put their own stones in their jars when they did something good and also made them understand more of what they did wrong when I made them take their own stones out of their jars.

**A tip for the parents is: when you do let your kids put their stone in their jar, be sure to listen while they do it. You will be surprised to see how many clink clinks you will hear when you're only suppose to here one clink!! (Sneaky kids!!)

This definitely worked for my kids. I saw an almost instant improvement in their behavior towards each other! It didn't take the fighting away completely but it made it where I could come out of my timeout!!

So, if you're looking for a cheap and easy way to get your kids to calm down, then just remember The Stone Jar and give it a try!! ( I don't recommend for you to stop feeding your fish just so you can claim his stones..)