How to Know If Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend is Too Possessive

In most relationships there's nothing wrong with a little healthy concern from either party once in a while. In fact, when your boyfriend or girlfriend worries about you, it might even feel a bit flattering. However, there is a point where typical "concern" or "curiosity" can turn into "possessiveness." Dating a possessive person can lead to a tumultuous relationship full of stress and drama, so it's important to be able to recognize the difference before it's too late. Here are some tips to identify whether or not you have a possessive boyfriend or girlfriend.

Physical Abuse: Possessive partners will often times try to control their mate physically. The term "physical abuse" doesn't mean that your boyfriend has to punch you in the face. It can often be much more simple than that. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend grab you or physically restrain when you're arguing? If they want to leave somewhere, will they try to make you leave by pulling on your wrist or clothing? These are the makings of someone who is possessive and capable of domestic violence.

Constant Interrogation: Possessive individuals like to be in control, and in order to control someone you need to know little things, like who they're with and what they're doing. Being in control requires a lot of information. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend constantly ask you very specific questions about what you're up to? Is a simple, "I'm at such and such with so and so" never a good enough answer? Do they always need to know where you are and what you're doing every second of the day? If so, it could just mean that they're insecure, but it also could be a sign that they are overly possessive.

Must Have Control: As I mentioned above, possessive people want to be in control. They will typically try to make decisions for you, so that they can ensure you are doing what they want. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend get very upset if you do not do what they tell you to do? Do they try to control the people you are friends with, the clothes you wear, the places you go, and other small or big decisions that make you who you are? Have you ever caught them doing some inconspicuously to manipulate you or a situation?

If the person you're dating falls into all of these categories, there's a good chance that they are too possessive and you shouldn't be with them. If the person you're dating only falls into one or two of these categories, you might not want to automatically assume they're possessive, but you should still talk to them about these issues. If the person you're dating doesn't exhibit any of these characteristics, you're probably in the clear; although, sometimes possessive people might not show their true colors until several months into a relationship, so if you've only been together a short while, that's something to consider.