How Do You Know If Your Child Really Has ADD?

My husband and I have been blessed with to wonderful little boys. When our son Conner was 4 years old my husband was retiring from the Navy and we moved back to my husband's hometown in Missouri. We wanted to enroll Conner in preschool so we scheduled an appointment for a preschool screening. We found out that he had several developmental delays. He had both physical and emotional delays.

When Conner was 9 months old he was still not sitting up on his own. The pediatrician we were going to at that time didn't see any need for concern. A few years later when we did the preschool training we found out that his upper body strength was very weak. This was the reason he did not sit up on his own till he was 9 months old.

Conner was enrolled in an early childhood program operated through the school district. Soon after he started preschool his teacher told us that she was concerned that Conner would not be ready to go to kindergarten in the fall. Throughout the school year the teachers worked hard to help Conner. They were so patient and understanding. We were also working with Conner at home. At the end of the school year his teacher told me that she was sorry for saying that Conner may not be ready for kindergarten. He had made amazing progress and was definitely ready for kindergarten.

A few months after school was out for the summer we moved to Illinois. Conner was enrolled in kindergarten. His teacher soon noticed that he was having problems staying on task and was easily distracted. The teacher was very concerned and thought that there was a possibility that Conner had ADD. I met with his teacher, the school psychologist, and other staff members to discuss the problems my son was having in school. Testing was done and it was recommended that our son be seen by our family physician. The doctor read the report from the school and asked me a few questions about my son. I mentioned Conner's developmental delays to the doctor but he didn't seem to think the developmental delays were causing the problems Conner was having. He diagnosed my son with ADD and wrote a prescription for Ritalin and that was it. No more further testing was ordered. We did not know that there could be a possible alternative to the diagnosis of ADD.

I have two nephews and one niece that have ADHD. Conner was not showing the same type of symptoms that my niece and nephews were. Of course we were told that every child is different and shouldn't compare our son to other children. I still felt that there was something that wasn't right about this diagnosis.

Conner was started on the Ritalin. The medicine did not help at all. It made Conner very hyper. So we took him back to our family doctor who referred us to a doctor that specialized in treating children with ADD/ADHD. She changed Conner's medicine and once again the medicine was not helping so his medicine was changed again. It seemed like with every change of medicine his behavior got worse not better. He hardly smiled anymore. He would just sit around with a sad expression on his face. He became very easily agitated and was aggressive with his little brother. He wasn't sleeping very well. On some nights he would still be awake at one or two o'clock in the morning. We tried a relaxation exercise with him but that was of no help either. It was breaking my heart to see my little looking so sad all of the time. I mentioned these things to his doctor every time we had an appointment with her. Never once did she say that the medicine may be causing Conner to behave this way. She once told me that Conner's problems could be caused by the medicine wearing off to soon. But we would soon realize that the medicine was cause of many of our son's problems.

When summer vacation started we decided to see how Conner would do without the medicine. We contacted the doctor and she told us how to gradually wean Conner off of the medicine. Once he was completely off of the medicine he was a totally different kid. He was smiling, laughing and playing better with his little brother. We were outside one day and Conner ran up and gave me a hug just because he wanted to hug his mom. He hadn't done that in a very long time. I think that was one of the best hugs I have ever had. Conner was sleeping a lot better also. When we put him to bed he goes to sleep a lot easier. No more being up all hours of the night.

In the fall Conner started 3^rd grade. I let his teacher know that he was no longer taking medicine for ADD. She told me that she feels that children are too quickly labeled as having ADD/ADHD. Every child is different and they have different ways of learning. Just because one child doesn't learn the way that other children do, does not necessarily mean they have ADD/ADHD.

There can be many other reasons that a child has difficulty paying attention and/or sitting still in school. I have learned from personal experience that we probably should have requested that any other possibilities be ruled out before a diagnosis was made. But that is my personal opinion. I'm not a doctor and I am not saying that every child with ADD/ADHD has been misdiagnosed. Every child is different and it is very important to work together with your child's physician and teachers to find out what works for your child. Always consult your child's physician before discontinuing and medication. The child may need to be weaned off of the medicine gradually.

Sometimes I feel guilty for what my son went through. I wonder why I didn't ask about taking him off of the medicine sooner. The important thing is that he is doing great in school and he is a happy normal boy.