How to Know when to Take Someone's Advice

You are thinking of moving to a new city. Perhaps you are having relationship issues. Or maybe you're just having trouble deciding on a new pair of shoes. It doesn't really matter whether the decision is big or small. Someone close to you will more than likely be at the ready with some well-meaning advice. Whether or not you welcome the opinion depends upon a few factors. All advice isn't good advice; but on the other hand, sometimes another perspective really helps. (See how confusing this can be?) How do you know when to take the advice of a loved one?

Follow your instincts.

Yes, this advice is self-explanatory. But the best thing you can do when faced with a big decision - is to follow your instincts. Usually the thing that you really want to do is the thing that you're going to do. Most times, the advice of others is pretty much just icing on the cake. The bottom line is that the more strongly you feel about one decision over another, the better off you are if you follow your own mind.

What is your adviser's motive?

It is also smart idea to consider your adviser's motive. Of course we all want to believe that our loved ones have our best interests at heart. Nonetheless, it's sometimes difficult to separate emotions from the facts in order to see the situation objectively. You don't really want to think ill of your peers. But it is very easy for people to find "valid" reasons to back up their advice, when in reality they are opinion is slightly self-serving.

What is your adviser's track record?

It is always easier to dish out rather than take advice. But you've really got to take a long look at the person from whom you're seeking help. If this person has a track record that isn't too stable, you might want to reconsider your source. The person whose had terrible luck in the romance department might not be the best person to consult if you've had a little snafu with your mate. All in all, take a good look at your "counselor's" integrity. If you have any doubts, it may be best to go your own way.

Measure the pros and cons.

When faced with a sticky situation, one of the best things you can ever do is measure your pros and cons. You would be surprised at how clear a fuzzy situation becomes when you look at the hard, cold facts. When someone gives you advice, and you have this information to compare it with, you can usually figure out in which direction you're leaning.

Consult multiple resources.

There is a reason why popular magazines offer their readers opinion polls. Getting the opinion of people who are unrelated to one another is probably one of the best choices you can make. If at all possible, consult more than one (trusted) person for advice on your sticky situation. In numbers, you just may find the objectivity that you're looking for.

SOURCES:

www.psychologytoday.com
www.yourtango.com
www.ivillage.com