How the LDS Church Affects a Non-Mormon, Wine Loving, Free Spirit

So here it is. I'm not a Mormon. Now this should not mean that I should be judged, left out, or be made to feel alienated by my community. Lucky for me, I am an individual who is very strong, and who couldn't care less what religion my neighbor is. Unfortunately, however, I am in the minority in my thought process.

I am a good, law abiding citizen. I am married, and have one child. I am 29 - that sure is old in their eyes. By now I should probably have sprouted about 6 kids, and have number 7 on the way. Times are a changin', or are they? Please keep in mind, as I will mention later, that this is an opinion piece, it is not based on any news articles, or based on negative feelings, it is solely based on my feelings, and my feelings only. I think more articles are needed like this on Associated Content. Readers, in my opinion, like to put themselves in someone elses' shoes, allow me to let you stand in my shoes for just a few moments.

My husband and I are on a house hunt, we really like this certain neighborhood in Salt Lake City, and we hear that you have to have a temple recommend to live there. Now, if you do not know what a temple recommend is, from what i gather, it is a card that is given to you once you satisfy the temple requirements, such as going on a mission, attending Church on a regular basis, faith, repentance, baptism, and confirmation. Men have it even harder, they have to be ordained to the Priesthood. To be worthy, you have to be honest, keep the commandments, such as remaining a virgin until marriage, and remaining faithful while you are married. You have to pay tithing. 10% of your overall earnings. You have to avoid being affiliated with dissident groups. Dissident groups? What is the definition of that? I'm sure that ladies night out surrounded by wine and coffee drinking sinners would qualify as a dissident group. How about Vegans? Are they dissident? I bet every single resident of Las Vegas and surrounding areas would qualify as dissident as well, unless, of course, they are a member of this holy place, the Mormon religion. So...as I mentioned, we WERE on a house hunt in that neighborhood - now we have realized that THEY are not good enough for US, not the other way around. It is indeed an interesting feeling, to be the minority, and I believe it to be the truth, when I say that being excluded simply because of a religion choice, or the color of your skin, or your sexual orientation is a pretty disheartening feeling.

Now, obviously, since I am writing an editorial, this is all based on opinion only. I know many, many Mormons, of all shapes and sized, and all colors. The ones that I like the most, are the ones who are honest with themselves and their families. I live next to an elderly lady from Europe. She has drank before. She likes wine. She has gone to bat, in the middle of Church, for african americans and raised brows as a result. I like this lady.

I know a Mormon, who, roughly 6 years ago now, worked at a small restaurant with me, before I was married of course. We hooked up, more than once. He would show up at my doorstep after work with a six pack of piss beer in his hands and jump my bones. Afterwards he would make me promise that I would not tell a soul. Many people we worked with went to the same 'ward' as he did, and he did not want any of them to know that he was not a virgin and that he drank, and hell, that he even smoked 'the marijuana' as he so childishly put it.

From what I learned in Bible School as a child, God died for our sins. He forgives our sins. It is God's job, on judgement day, when we die, to decide if we get to go to Heaven or Hell. I understand that is all a bit convalluded, but seriously, when all is said and done, those are the basics.

What I don't understand, is who appointed Mormons as God? Who made them think that they can make all the rules, and suck their people into this cult-like environment, where the opposite occurs, they become judgemental, the become uptight, and they become so closed-minded, that people actually lead double lives just to make their Ward members believe that they are Church abiding citizens, and that they are still Holy in the eyes of the Church.

One of my good friends years ago, was a Mormon by day, a trashy, partying, drinking, smoking, sleeping around type of girl by night. Her parents were never the wiser. She would go out with me, and let me tell you, this girl could party. She partied harder than I could have ever done so. I couldn't keep up with her. The guys all wanted to sleep with her, and they did just that. She always wanted to be this crazy girl that everyone liked. One time, on the way to the bar, she passed a ward member on the sidewalk. Her skirt was below her knees, she wore her garments under her clothes, and she even carried a Bible. Once we were inside the bar, the clothes came off. She made every single bar's bathroom, her personal changing room. This is where she came to life.

When her sister got married, my friend could not attend the ceremony. That's how it works, if you do not have a temple recommend, than you can not go into the temple. She had not gotten her temple recommend, so she couldn't go. Neither could her father. See, he was Christian, and her mother was Mormon. Since he was not Mormon, he could not attend the ceremony either. How screwed up is that? Your own flesh and blood cannot see you get married, simply because they do not do exactly what the Church wants them to do. Do you see a Jewish synagogue or a Christian Church deny entry to people simply because they are different? Isn't that the very grain upon which our communities should be built? Being unique and different, and not doing something simply just because that's what someone tells you to do? Now even if someone passes away, and they are your best friend, if they were sealed in the temple, and you, my friend, were not, than you can forget going to the ceremony - you are not allowed into the temple for funerals either.

I only believe that in the time that we live in, in the country we live in, freedom of speech, freedom to choose how you want to live your life, the great US of A, members of the Mormon Church should be allowed to make their own decisions. Members should be allowed to associate with non-mormons and not be afraid that they are going to be repremanded or excommunicated from the Church just because they are not following the letter of the Mormon law. Since when do we let any religion rule our lives? Isn't that how wars begin? Different religions thinking they can rule the world, and in trying to do so, they just piss people off instead?

Instead of using basic ice-breaking techniques in social situations, I instead, have resorted to the dreaded question - "are you LDS?" It's my first question when I meet someone new. Seriously, it drives my husband crazy, but I would rather know up front what I'm getting into. I once got invited to a mommy's group when I first moved to Salt Lake City. I learned my lesson when I showed up only to be bombarded by ten 'mommies on a mission' to convert this poor, poor wretched of a soul who had not found the Church yet. Good grief, I had to sit there for two hours while my son played happily, unknowingly innocently with these other great children. How sheltered they were. How uncomfortable I was. I sat and listened to them talk about relief society, their ward, the temple, and even their garments. I'm sorry, but really, even if you ladies weren't Mormons, I still, under no circumstances would want to hear about your underwear, especially how sacred they were. I mean really, please, sacred underwear? Are you for real?

In Salt Lake, either you're in, or you're out, or you pretend to be in, when in fact, you head to your backyard for parties and drink your beer, skulking in the corner, in fear that someone that would judge you, would pop in out of the blue and reprimand you. Instead, how about hanging out, relaxed, with a free feeling, around people who would only judge you because are a beer drinker instead of a wine enthusiast. How about hanging comfortably with those people who enjoy being around you and enjoy you for who you are inside, not for who the Church wants to make you. How about just being you.