How to Let Go of Excessive Worry

I'm a huge worrier! I worry about everything big and small. If I can't find something to worry about, I invent things to worry about. How ridiculous is that? Mark Twain said: "I've known a great many troubles, and most of them never happened." That saying is so true. Most worries never do happen! And if they do, they're usually not as bad as we had anticipated. We spend too much time and energy on things that offer us no real value and never move us forward. Worrying is like a car spinning wheels in the sand. No matter how much you step on the gas, no matter how fast those wheels are turning, you don't get anywhere!

Recently my second daughter had very sad episode in her life. Her fiancé broke up with her out of blue after being together for nearly three years. Okay, I'm sure there were problems and signs of trouble before the breakup, but she felt that when two people love one another they should always work things out. He evidently didn't feel the same way and just announced one day that they should no longer be together. My daughter was devastated. I felt so bad for her. I thought of how she was probably feeling to the point that I was actually experiencing great anxiety and pain! I laid awake in bed that night mulling over this terrible event. I was so worried about her and started imagining the worst possible scenarios. Like how depressed would she get? Would she begin drinking? Stop working? Try to commit suicide? My mind was really doing a number on me! I was awake for a few hours just...worrying!

When I got to the point where I was inventing things that COULD happen, I laughed at myself! My higher self and guides decided to kick in at that moment and had me putting on the brakes. What good was I doing anyone by worrying so much? I was losing sleep, causing myself great anxiety, and it was ridiculous! I needed to be levelheaded and offer my daughter comfort and a shoulder to cry on. It wouldn't help her if I was a wreck! I then felt a calmness settle over me as I realized that all difficult times in life help us to grow and that "this too shall pass."

In the next moment I flipped everything around and decided to see what good could come out of this. They weren't ready for marriage and I know they didn't have much in common. They were basically "used" to being together and so they never thought of parting ways. They say it's more difficult to leave someone you're used to than someone you love. I'm not sure about that, but I do know that it is hard to let go of any habit, even if that habit is another person! Also, my daughter had a lot of dreams to pursue and her fiancé wasn't very supportive. The breakup would give her a chance to follow some of those dreams now. And, now that she'd had a taste of what she didn't want in a relationship, she could be more selective with her next boyfriend. She also said she isn't ready to jump into anything too quickly as she did last time. Those positive thoughts calmed me and helped me to feel better.

Every coin has two sides. So, too, does every problem or situation. Nothing is ever black or white. I learned a tremendous lesson that night. Now, whenever I catch myself worrying or feel backed into a corner due to a problem, I KNOW there's another way to look at things. A more positive way. I seek out solutions and a more positive outlook rather than feeling that things are hopeless and that I have no control. As I've said before, thoughts are just thoughts and don't have any real impact unless we give them the strength to change our lives--for the good or bad. Thoughts = Feelings = Action or Inaction!