How to Lie

I am a big believer in honesty, but I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't told a lie or two. Sometimes white lies are okay to keep someone from getting hurt.

Wife: Honey, do I look fat in this dress?

Husband: No, baby, you look beautiful.

Does she actually look beautiful? Or did he say that because he loves her and couldn't stand the thought of hurting her feelings like that? It could be either.

The fact is that in everyone's life there comes a time where they WILL lie about something. I'm not saying it is right, I'm just saying that if you are going to do it, at least you should know how to not get caught and that is what this article is about. Whether you are keeping a surprise a secret, trying to get an extra day off work, or doing something you really shouldn't be doing, this article explains the basic ins and outs of how to lie.

Step 1-Practice (Avoid Dead Giveaways)

This step only applies if you know that you are going to have to tell a lie, although knowing this information can help protect you if you are caught in a situation where you have to tell a lie immediately, so read through this section anyway.

Know exactly what you are going to say and practice it until it sounds natural. Stand in front of a mirror and watch your facial expressions. Avoid touching your face. A hand covering the mouth, touching the nose, and rubbing your eyes or even a slight tug on your ear can all give you away as being a liar.

Don't risk it. Just don't touch your face. Even if a person doesn't know that these are all signals that someone is telling a lie, our subconscious minds are prone to picking up on these little hints. All another person needs is their gut to tell them that you are lying and you've already been caught.

Continuing to practice in front of the mirror, watch the rest of your body. Stay relaxed with your arms at your sides. Don't cross your arms as this gives a signal of being closed. Just like covering your mouth can signal that you are hiding something, crossing your arms is a signal that you are closed up. You want the other person(s) to feel that you are an open, honest person.

If you are a man, this next part applies more to you than a woman, but it does apply to some women. Don't swallow your saliva. I know, weird. Yet another one of those signs that you are lying, and your adams apple will give you away.

Have you figured out what you are going to say? Good. Now, go over it again. Are you giving too much information? Only liars feel compelled to give extra details because well, they are lying. Cut the extra details out of your explanation. (Ex: If you are trying to get off work for a day, don't say, "My mom as at Chippenham Hospital. She had a heart attack. I'm really worried about her because this is the second one she has had. My brother is taking off work too, but he can't get here before tomorrow morning because he lives in New York and he has to make arrangement for the kids..." And so on. Instead say, "My mom is in the hospital. I need the day off." If your boss were to then ask what hospital and for what, then give the other details that you have prepared.)

This brings us to another note. If your boss knows your mom and is going to call and check on her, don't use your mom as an excuse. If you are going to use someone else in your lie, then make sure that they are in on it, with all of the details. If you are sneaking out with your boyfriend when your mom thinks you are studying with your friend Jane, make sure Jane is going to be home and that she knows you are using her in your fib. Be sure that she is okay with being included in this. She may hate lying and ask that you not include her. If that is the case, use someone else.

Alright, run through your lie a few more times in front of the mirror. Say it so much that you have convinced yourself of it. The more it sounds like truth even to you, the less likely you are to give yourself away. Plus, this will give you an opportunity to make sure you have your story straight. Facts are important. Make sure that they don't change. Write them down somewhere if you have to. Make sure that you don't put it anywhere that someone can find it.

Step 2-Make Sure You Want to Do This

Lying can be damaging to relationships. Even if you don't get caught, lying to someone can make you view them differently-with less respect. When you get away with a lie, sometimes it can make you think that the other person is stupid for believing you. If you do get caught, then that person will forever wonder if anything you say is the truth. There is no going back. Once you lie, you are stuck with it, unless you fess up and most of the time, no amount of apologies can fix it.

Step 3-Tell the Lie

If you have had an opportunity to practice, this should be pretty easy. You just say what you practiced and you answer any questions the other person may have (also easy, because you have prepared all that information).

If you are caught unprepared however, it is a little more difficult. You are more prepared than most because you have read this article. So, you'll remember not to touch your face. You remember not to give too much information.

In this situation, try not to pull any other names into the equation. If you mention that you were out with Jane last night and then your mom calls to check with Jane's mom to see if you were really there, then you are going to be in big trouble. Be sure if you MUST use another person's name, that you get a hold of them immediately after you have told your lie and you fill them in.

A big newbie liar mistake is that they change their tone of voice when they lie. They try too hard to sound innocent, or convincing. Talk normally. That is your best shot at passing something off as the truth.

If it seems that the person you are lying to does not seem convinced, do not, and I repeat DO NOT ask him/her if they believe you, what is wrong, or any other form of a question to give you more insight as to whether or not they think you are lying. If they are straddling the fence on whether or not they believe you, those types of questions will knock them over onto the side of distrust. This can happen even if you are telling the truth.

A Simpler Way to Not Get Caught

Because so many of our tell-tale signs are body language signals, one of the best ways to tell a lie is through the email or instant messenger. Phone works too, but you have to remember to control your voice. Just don't forget in an email to not go into a lot of detail. Only when asked for details should you give them. So, keep it brief. "My mom is in the hospital. I can't come into work today. Call me if you need anything. Joe" should be more than sufficient.

Notes:

Keep it simple. The bigger the lie, the more likely you are to be caught.

The best way to not get caught is to not lie in the first place. Honesty is truly the best policy in life. It is good for your relationships and keeps you guilt-free.