How Long is Too Long to Wait for a Marriage Proposal?

I recently wrote an article about my own feelings on waiting for a marriage proposal, and since I have recently come to a better understanding of things, I decided I should write a follow up article regarding the topic.

So, while I felt that I wasn't insane in thinking that it wouldn't be too much to ask to want a marriage proposal after a year and a half of a solid relationship, I have come to realize the effects of putting so much pressure on that proposal.

At first I thought that the pressure was only being placed on my boyfriend, but then when I thought about it, and the source of my discontent, I realized that I was placing pressure on myself as well. With another year of school to go before I graduate, premarital counceling to do before we can actually wed (during which we have to live apart), and not to mention an actually wedding to plan and FUND, the pressure was making me more discontent than the actual waiting for the proposal. So, I thought of a compromise between the things that I and my boyfriend want for ourselves in the next couple of years, and I am instantly much happier.

So, my revised expectations are as follows.

1. Get engaged in a reasonable time frame, when he is ready because since the wedding will have to be pushed back, there is not immediate need to be engaged. Besides, it will be much more magical if I don't have to wonder if out of his desire to shut me up.

2. Live together next year in a means to better our financial situation. The death of my mother made it difficult for me to work, and therefore set us back financially. I want to find ways to cut our expenses over the next year in hopes of not only getting caught up financially, but also in hopes of saving money for a wedding and a down payment on a house (a small house).

3. Get married at least a year later than we had originally planned after we have both graduated and found decent jobs. I think this will benefit us in premarital counceling as well, since we will be a much more stable couple and also come off more as the mature individuals we know we are.

4. Work on being content with what is rather than focusing on what isn't yet. This will be mostly on my part. I need to learn patience, and appreciate what my boyfriend has given me so far, and simply look forward to what is to come, rather than being upset that it hasn't come yet.

I'm hoping that this next year will really help us have a much more solid foundation for our marriage, and make us able to view our marriage as a beginning rather than simply a continuation.

So for all of you out there who are unhappy and pressuring for a proposal, I advise re-evaluating WHY you want a proposal, and if your relationship is in the best position to support a marriage.