How Long is too Long to Wait for Sex?
Well that question has been the topic of discussion between women for hundreds of years now. It is the type of question which has no definite answer. Women basically have two views on the topic, one view is to be a good girl and make him wait. The other view is being able to fulfill their needs like men.
From reading various relationship forum postings online, the general consensus between younger men is that they refuse to wait for sex. What is odd is the practice of not respecting a woman who decides to have sex right away, in other words they say these women are not 'wifey" material. It's rather confusing, if they are not into waiting for sex from a woman; who are they planning to marry? At some point, they will end up waiting for the "good" girl. These young men seem to be puffing out there chest online to seem manlier, not realizing how idiotic they come across.
Is it fair to consider young women who decide to have one night stands or engage in booty calls as loose women? Our society likes to throw around words such as ho's and tramps to describe women who indulge in casual sex. But the bottom line is, it is not fair to judge a woman simply because you do not know her reasoning for her sexual indiscretions. The fact is many young ladies today confuse sex with love. Women are simply wired different than men, for many it is hard to differentiate love from lust.
For both men and women, making choices about sex need to be thought out very carefully. People tend to get their priorities mixed up when it comes to sex. We all know the consequences of reckless sex. In some cases, adding sex into the mix of a potential rewarding relationship, can eventually lead to a damaged development of intimacy.
Whether you wait a month or more to have sex with a person is fine and it gives you more of an opportunity to get to know the other person better. If two people are mature enough to be absolutely certain about what they want, and why they are doing what they are doing; that's fine. The right time to have sex between two consenting adults is up to the couple.
Published by Lorraine Hayden
I'm a freelance writer, wife and mother. View profile
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13 Comments
Post a CommentYou are wrong Deez. If you wait until you are in love, the sex will be amazing! If you are already experienced, then teach each other. The only people who say "what if they suck in the sack?" are people who are loose. Too many partners makes a person start comparing.
What if you make him wait and then when you finally do the deed, either you or he sucks in the sack? Wow, all that time invested for nothing.LOL
This "making him wait" nonsense is a load of crap. Mind games. If the attraction is there, its just natural to express it in a physical way. Otherwise you're walking down some bullshit path thinking you know more about sex than nature does.
I look at it like this... If I were looking for a mate, I wouldn't want to jump in the sack with just any woman. I would like to get to know her first. I would like to know if she is a stable person, mentally and financially before I took the next step. On the other hand If I wasn't in the market for a life partner, I may not wait too long. It's all in what you are looking for and I would venture to say that most men (especially young men) don't care to get married so...the booty call works just fine for them. So ladies beware. LOL. Once again, great article.
Another great article!
You put some thought into this I can tell... but I believe this is something most will have pray about. Good job though! :D
Do what you do. Whether you wait for SEX, or prefer to do what you like. No one can judge you but GOD!!! I choose to wait on SEX and look at me....divorced and alone. I don't know what the main ingredient is for a successful relationship, but I've seen marriages work where the 1st night they slept toogether, and I've seen couples where they didn't have SEX before marriage and are now divorced. So who's to say. It depends on the individuals and the chemistry between the 2 adults. I haven't met anyone yet that made me want to give myself to him the 1st night, but who knows anythings possible. And I wouldn't want to judged as a loose woman if I did.
From an educated black woman in Detroit.
Touchy subject.
(continued).... Also, after a woman has waited for long, what makes any man think that she should want to marry him, even after he has slept with other women before her? That reminds me of the comment left here. Just like men don't want a woman who sleeps around, WOMEN don't want to marry a man who has slept with multiple women and probably bringing home STDs, Kids, Crazy ex-girlfriends and all sorts of problems.
Lorraine, the first comment that was made on this article is one of the reasons why we have such a messed up society, especially in the African American community. It is sickening. While I could have a lot to say about that, I will not waste my time. Now, this was a great article. I liked how you brought up the contradiction of men refusing to wait, but not considering a woman "wifey" material. It is just an unbalanced standard that women are made to live up to. What trips me out is the fact that women are encouraged to wait, yet when we decide to do that, the men leave because we are not putting out. Now, when it comes down to guys choosing to marry a "good girl", how is that going to happen, when the same men are busy having sex with the women who are not waiting? It seems like the women who don't wait may get scruitinized, but they are the ones who have a man. The women who do wait cannot keep a man, because the men will either cheat or pressure his woman into sex.
Also, after a w