How Long to Wait Before Calling a Girl?

Ask your average guy how long you should wait before calling a woman whose number you've gotten at the bar or a club, and he will invariably tell you "three days" -- it's a part of our popular culture to wait three days, from Swingers to high school prom to nervous college dating.

Of course, this is one convention you can throw out. In an age where we all know what our friends are doing constantly via Twitter and Facebook, and with the rise of instant text messaging and wireless email, the three days convention is laughably quaint.

Instead, you want to stand out to the girl you are pursuing -- show her you are confident, and yet respectful, assertive but not a "creeper" or jealous sort of bloke, right mate?

This is why you should call the very next day, usually in the early afternoon. Call right at noon and you'll hit her voicemail as she heads to work; for this reason, you should call around 2 to 3pm. Of course, a little earlier or later is fine.

The key here, though, is to call the next day -- while you are still fresh in her memory, and while you still remember (hopefully!) the conversation you had the other night. You can draw upon and expand on this conversation to build rapport with her over the phone, and to learn a bit more about her.

Waiting three days puts an unnecessary distance between the two of you, and makes meaningful connection even more challenging.

So don't wait. Calling the same day is, of course, needy and shows that you have nothing else going on. But calling the next day shows you are a man who knows what he wants, and who is respectful of her -- and also that you don't "play games" by waiting a certain amount of time.

If you hit her voicemail, leave a quick voicemail. "Hey, this is Andy from the other night, give me a call back at 212..."

No umms, no long drawn out anecdotes or difficult questions for her to answer ("Are you an atheist?") and be sure to clearly state your number so she can call you back -- not all phones have visual voicemail or caller ID.

Leaving a voicemail is preferable to hanging up and calling again and again until you reach her "live" on the phone. This will come across as way creepy; better to leave a voicemail and wait patiently to hear back from her. Respect her time and she will respect yours.

There has been some discussion about communicating initially via email; I tend to discourage this. The "initial" contact after you get a girl's contact information should be done by phone.

It's more formal, a bit more personal, and shows confidence. Any spineless weakling can write a fancy email, but it takes a real mean to confidently speak on the phone with a woman he barely knows. It takes guts to ask her to dinner or a coffee over the phone, and thus you should do it this way. Separates you from weaklings who prefer to use email or texting.

Anyway, good luck with it, and cheers mate!