How to Look 30% Prettier: Why Christian Ladies Are Prettier Than Non-Christians

Christian ladies average 30% prettier than non-Christians. How? Why? Just because they primp for church?

(1) Because Christians, men AND women, let Jesus Christ carry their worries, but people in the shopping mall have to carry their own worries. So Christians have fewer lines on their faces.

(2) Because God is faithful, the people of God are faithful too. God keeps his promises, and we keep ours. ('Oh no you don't!' you wanna argue? Read on.)

(3) Because God (triune Jehovah) is wise, his people act wisely, and stay out of trouble. (Wanna argue again? Read on.)

(4) Because in the Lord Jesus Christ, we Christians have access to perfection; but the people at Wal-Mart cannot reach perfection.

(5) Because God in Jesus forgives our sins, we don't have to carry our sins; but the mall crowds are stuck with their sins.

(6) Because when we die, we enjoy "pleasures for evermore" at God's right hand; but for the people of the world, death is just a nasty and fearful end. (Fear Hell; fear burning forever.) Even the Church on earth enjoys pleasures and comforts, earned by Jesus our worthy Redeemer and not charged to our account. The "fruit of the Spirit" shows and blossoms. Christian ladies tend to have prettier smiles--not everyone always, but on average.

(7) Because Jesus of Nazareth rose up alive from the dead, emptying his grave, His people will also rise in the "resurrection of life" instead of the "resurrection of damnation."

To escape from Wal-Mart and K-Mart into God's Church, to escape from death into life, you need God's living seed, from which the tree of life will grow. Tiny living seeds grow into bushes and trees; dead rocks stay dead. God's Book, the Bible, has a thousand pages or so; but let this one page you're reading be a seed of life and beauty for you. Are you always thanking God (who created the whole universe and keeps it going) for your health, food, breath, friends, and comforts, or are you ungrateful to Him? Begin to thank and praise him. Have you made people cry, and broken your promises to them? To God's Church, the Bible says "Christ died for our sins" and "whoever confesses and gets rid of their sins shall have mercy." "Repent:" Stop hurting people; help people, especially the ones you've hurt.

The man Jesus Christ lived on earth without doing anything wrong, but shows us exactly who God is, for Jesus is God as well as man. So look to Jesus for perfection, not to yourself (and not even to other Christians, though we do need each other's help, and do see signs of Jesus in each other.) As we look to Jesus, we grow more like him. 10%, 20%, 30% and so on. Jesus died like an ant you step on or a fly you swat, and he rose up from the dead and is alive. (After he rose, he spent about 40 more days on earth and then went up to Heaven without dying again. Most of us go to Heaven to be with Him by dying. After some Heaven comes the Resurrection.)

Followers of Jesus (Christians) ask God the Creator for help and thank him for it (praying to God, like a phone call except you don't need a phone--he hears you.) We get together ("Church" means a getting-together, a group) and we pay attention to God and his book, the Bible, and to each other. In most of the Bible God tells his own people how to improve; hardly any of it is for perfect people. When we do wrong things, we repent: stop, turn around, do right instead of wrong, make things better for the people we've hurt, tell God about what we've done, let Jesus who "died for our sins" take care of the rest.

The difference between (real) Christians and the mall crowd is not the difference between perfect and imperfect; it's the difference between a living, growing seed and a dead pebble. So choose life, not death. The problems of life (ask Jesus whether it has any) are better than the problems of death; so are the opportunities of life. Pretty up.