How to Lose the Love of Your Life

With trillions of books, websites and television shows about how to find that special person you would think that everyone would have and keep that "special one". I was delighted when Greg Bernhardt, author of "He's Just Not That Into You", gave women a handle on when to let go while dating. However, not enough media tells you what NOT to do when trying to maintain a great relationship.

Compare, Compare, Compare
Even the best of us start to notice the differences between "the right now guy" and "the jerk from before" but as things progress, it is wise to steer your wonderful union on the road of comparisons. The current hottie is pleased that he "rocks" but he doesn't want to have to save face all the time by doing something better than Mr. Wrong. It is pressure. No one likes pressure. Appreciate this person by not making them feel like an all day entertainment special where they are always "ON"

The Ex and Her Breast
There are some of us who have NEVER seen that "Ex". For us, we have no comparison and we wonder what she looked like. Was her breast bigger? Was her waist smaller? Was she gorgeous under special lights or every light? Why does this matter? Well, because it will help if she looks like a troll under the bridge. Or will it? I found that I didn't want to know that former women were as gorgeous as Halle Berry but I wanted to know that he had good taste. With that, I would later digress and not hope for anything but his full attention on how good I looked. He's not obsessing over "her", so why should you?

Blaming Your Mother
Blaming mom is great because usually we swear we will "never" and usually end up "always" acting like our mothers. It is okay to know where your bad habits come from. If your Mom has had men problems, you are not justified to view all men based on her loose choices. And vice versa, your Dad may be Mr. Romance. He may buy mom flowers for no reason or massage her feet on command, that's awesome. But if your man doesn't exactly do these things for you, this is not a great way to assess his love for you. Romance just may not be his thing. Be yourself, not your Mom.

Quality Time
How do women mess these things up? There are actually women who think that having everybody and the dog around all the time is healthy for their relationships. It's not. You love your sister, your Mom, your Dad and Auntie but you and him need time alone. It is called intimacy. If your quality time is always bombarded with your family members and friends crowding you, then your relationship will suffer. Learn to spend and cherish time with just you and him.

Miss Perfect
A healthy relationship requires both people to possess a humble, apologetic spirit at times. When you are wrong, you are wrong. A good woman can admit to being wrong. There are ALWAYS other things that led up to the committed offense and what you did or said may have been reaction but when it is all said and done, if he can admit and apologize, so should you. Making excuses for yourself or acting indignant will surely give your mate plenty of reasons to run for the border.

Who Me? Yes, Me. Always me.
There are lots of women who are raised to think that they should only be concerned about themselves. They go on to treat men like doormats. He makes money that they spend carelessly. He makes children that he has no authority to properly raise because she said so. His words mean nothing and his feeling mean even less. This won't work for obvious reasons. No one likes to be devalued. This is not something that just happens to women, men just hide it well, hence the migration into another women's arms.

I am sure there are plenty of things that you can do to totally screw up true love but these are just some of them. Relationships are very challenging because it is two people from two different backgrounds and ways of living trying to live together. It will never work if it is one-sided. Relationships should be balanced unions that serve both people.