How to Lower the Chances of International Adoption Tragedies

With concerns about possible adoption suspensions, potentially affecting hundreds of Americans trying to adopt Russian orphans, parents pursuing Russian adoptions are worried. I understand this concern. As the parent of a child adopted from Eastern Europe, we had similar concerns.

So when I read of Torry Ann Hansen's disruption of the Russian adoption of her 7 year old son and the possible end to Russian adoptions, I understood why parents trying to adopt Russian children would be distraught.

The hard truth? When it comes to international adoptions, the rules can change overnight. They can even change during the adoption process. We learned this firsthand when we had to get new paperwork just days before the scheduled adoption.

So how can people who want a Russian adoption - or any type of international adoption - stay informed and reduce the chances of another adoption tragedy? Here are some tips based on our own experience and those of other adoptive parents we met in support groups:

Start with an International Adoption Agency with an Excellent Track Record

An excellent adoption agency should require parents to go through extensive counseling before, during and after the adoption. Our agency required us to be fully aware of all risks, including the fact that our son might have severe developmental and learning challenges. We were also given the names of parents who've gone through international adoptions, people who didn't sugar coat the challenges of adopting a child from Eastern Europe.

A reputable adoption agency can help parents stay informed about the possible developmental delays and emotional trauma experienced by some children raised in Eastern European orphanages.

Connect with a Support Group for Parents Adopting from Russia or Your Country of Choice

When we started our adoption there weren't many local support groups. But I found a very active group online and our agency gave us the name of some parents to contact. If I had a question about Eastern European adoptions, group members were there to offer answers. Adoptive parents in every stage of the adoption process described their experiences, from seeing the first photo of their child to meeting their child. They wrote to us or spoke to us about the challenges they faced.

Consult with Doctors who Are Experienced in Russian or Other international Adoptions

At one point, I spoke with Dr. Jane Aronson (the same doctor who has worked with actress Angelina Jolie during her adoptions). When I talked with Dr. Aronson, she was already a medical specialist in international adoptions and she was both honest and compassionate. I gave her all the information we had, including the height and weight of our prospective son as well as the circumference of his head. She was upbeat but realistic about the chances for problems. She also noted the realities of children who lived in some overseas orphanages, including Romanian and Russian orphanages.

According to The Boston Globe , Dr. Jane Aronson noted that Torry Ann Hansen had an appointment to meet with a specialist but did never followed through. She simply didn't show up, missing an opportunity to learn more about the realities of Russian adoption. Of course, no one can tell if that would have dissuaded her from adopting. But it was one more opportunity to get vital facts.

Realize that an Child Adopted Through International Adoption May Need Post Adoption Services

Even before our son arrived, we had the names and phone numbers of people that we might need to contact. We had an auditory specialist ready to test our child's hearing and provide help - if needed. We also had the names of doctors who'd done medical checks on children adopted from overseas as well as speech, occupational and physical therapists.

Don't Be Too Proud to Ask for Help if an Internationally Adopted Child has Serious Problems

Even with the best post adoption services for medical issues, some children adopted From Russia or other countries can display serious behaviors or have undetected medical issues. Experienced adoptive parents can step in and offer helpful advice. The adoption agency can also be a source of support. No adoptive parent should be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. After our son arrived, we reached out to other parents during the first year and got valuable advice.

Torry Ann Hansen's adoption agency, The World Association for Children and Parents, didn't get a call from Torry Ann Hansen. Instead, they had to learn of her issues through the Russian government. One can't help wondering if the outcome could have been different if her son had a chance to get help before flying back to Russia on a plane.

This is far from an exhaustive list of steps potential adoptive parents can take before, during and after adopting from Russia or any East European country. But these tips can go a long way in ensuring that they will go into an international adoption with more information about the risks and realities.

Sources:

Personal experience with international adoption
Preventing Adoption Disasters, The Boston Globe, April 17, here