How to Lower Child Support Payments Without a Lawyer

It's no secret, if you have read prior articles on this topic, that I have a personal bias against the uneven, maternal bias and monetary focus of the child support enforcement system. Yes, this statement is coming from a woman, and a mother-because I know that child related expenses come out of what you have to work with, and are not a predetermined portion of the fathers income.

Having said that, all personal bias will be excluded from the remainder of this article... which is written for noncustodial fathers (and the occasional mother) who is stuck paying a child support bill you can't afford.

In most cases, a noncustodial parent can not afford a lawyer to help lower child support payments, and you have to try to do it yourself. These steps will help you build a stronger case when requesting a lower child support payment.

Can You Afford Your Child Support Payments?

If you can afford your child support payments, you are both lucky and unlucky because you'll have a very difficult time convincing a judge that your child support order should be modified to a lesser amount. At least you're not struggling to put food on your own table, so count your blessings and move on. (Unless you are in the rare situation where you truly are paying much more than is needed to properly care for a child. In that case, continue with the following steps.)

If you can't afford to support yourself after paying child support, then you have a good strong case. But can you prove it? Gather documents of unpaid bills, save your paystubs, and lay it all out on the table. Keep in mind that feeding your child is more important than any personal luxuries, so focus on the important bills.

Use your own judgment over whether you have a good reason to request a lower child support payment. If you have a strong reason, move on to the next step.

Evaluate the Situation of a Custodial Parent Before Lowering Child Support

To work with the child support system, you have to work with the system.

Morally, both parents should be responsible for providing for their child, and doing everything within their power to ensure the basic needs of a child are met... including (but not limited to) financial needs.

Legally, the noncustodial parent is responsible for providing 20% of his income to the custodial parent, and the custodial parent can use this money however she chooses.

Therefore, it is your responsibility to evaluate the situation. If a noncustodial parent is abusing child support income, it might be a smarter idea to focus on a child custody case instead. (Note, child custody and child support are two completely separate matters in a legal system.)

However, you can't just take an offensive perspective when evaluating a system. As common as it may be for a custodial parent to abuse child support income, you also have to know if the child is really being deprived of anything.

Let's say your ex is spiteful, and decides to show off her $200 purse which she purchased with your hard earned money. Of course this will make you mad, but then you have to ask if your child is being taken care of. If your ex is taking care of this child, then your child support payments may be helping cover the financial burden of raising a child. However, in this example, it wouldn't hurt to make a note that you are struggling to feed yourself (if you can prove it) while she is buying expensive handbags.

This can be regarded as irrelevant if you appear hostile in a courtroom, but if you can curb any emotion while laying out the facts... a judge will be more likely to reconsider the current child support order.

The most important thing to look for, and to be honest about, is whether or not the money you are paying is enough to help support your child... as well as if it is being put to good use. Again, custody battles are more appropriate if your child support is not being put where it should be. However, if a custodial parent is taking care of your child, you have to know that lowering your child support won't cause a problem for her or your child.

Whether or not the legal system follows their claim or not, child support truly should be "about the child" and if you can't afford to provide an amount that is needed to meet the needs of that child, maybe you should get another job.

When evaluating the situation of a custodial parent, it can be very difficult not to be blind sighted by any emotion. If she doesn't work, for example, or there is a step parent involved that makes a lot of money... it can be very frustrating. Nonetheless, don't forget your role as a parent and don't let the system get to you.

Talk to the Custodial Parent and Try to Work Out a Better Child Support Agreement

Sometimes, it isn't possible to work something out. However, you do have to make every effort to be the mature, responsible adult and talk with a custodial parent about lowering child support. Explain why you want a lower amount, discuss alternative arrangements (maybe you can get more visitation, buy food and school clothes directly, etc.) and ultimately come to a standstill, or an agreement.

There are two reasons why this step Is single handedly the most important step in lowering child support.

When a man and a woman conceive a child, they are bound together for life. When that man and woman do not wish to be together, they separate and it creates a messy situation. When the child support system gets their greedy paws involved, the messy situation can escalate to something even worse... and if you can work out your differences by yourself... you should!

If a custodial parent is required to file for child support (through the legal system) then there is nothing either of you can do, but by working out an agreement you can have a lower child support payment than what the court would order.

If a custodial parent is not willing to work with you, you might feed fuel to the fire by not trying to work with her anyways. Instead of playing childish games, grow up and explain your priorities for providing for your child, within your means.

If you can avoid a court ordered child support (and just pay her directly, or have other split cost arrangements) this is the best thing you can do. In any other case, especially a case where she will not settle on a lower child support amount, then you need to move forward by requesting reconsideration of your child support payment.

File a Petition of Modification to Lower Child Support

If there is a change in financial circumstances, such as a change in income or expenses, then you need to file the Petition of Modification immediately. Literally, if you lose your job... you should file this order before even going to the unemployment office.

It can take several weeks up to several months before the actual court hearing is set, but any decision made will go back to the date the Petition was filed.

A Petition of Modification to lower child support must be filed in the same family court that the support order was set.

Once you finally get into the courtroom, present the facts and nothing else. Leave all emotion outside of the court room. If you have a strong enough case, you won't need the extra cost of a lawyer to lower child support payments.