How to Maintain a Relationship Outside the Bedroom

There is a rumor that says that you know within the first few minutes of meeting someone if you want to have sex with them or not. So you are either attracted or not, that isn't exactly rocket science. The hard part is after you get past the sex, is that person someone who you will want to spend time with outside of the bedroom. There is a lot more to a relationship than physical attraction. So what does it take to make a lasting healthy relationship?

Communication is a major factor in any relationship. You have to be able to convey your thoughts and feelings to the other person, even the bad things. In order to maintain communication each of you must be willing to open up and be vulnerable. Besides the serious conversations that you will be having, you will also need to spend time just talking together, about how your day was and the things that interest you. This keeps you from alienating or seeming to ignore the other person.

Before you can have a healthy relationship with someone you have to have self confidence, and belief in yourself. You must have your own interests and hobbies. When you start a relationship there need to be clearly defined boundaries that will protect you both and keep you from losing yourself in your journey to becoming a couple. Each of you needs to maintain your friendships with other people and don't give up things you enjoy to please the other person. This is not to say that cooperation and maybe some scheduling changes won't occur, because of course there are adaptations to be made along the way. Make time for yourself, and for the couple.

Do you enjoy each others company? Can you have comfortable silences, laughter, debates, watch movies, and listen to music together? Liking and respecting each other is much more important than physical attraction, after all you can't spend all your time in bed. The old saying about opposites attracting can seem to be true, but can opposites maintain a healthy happy relationship? Actually yes they can if they are aware of the differences and respect them.

Working together toward your goals helps to keep a couple united and focused on maintaining their relationship while furthering their careers, education, even building toward buying a home and starting a family. If the individuals aren't moving forward and the relationship has no direction then what is the point? Isn't that just wasting time?

One of the hardest things to do is to fight fairly! There will be disagreements and arguments along the way, some of them may be minor and some may be life changing. Don't resort to name calling, threats, or walking out. If your relationship is important to you then you must both be willing to listen, to concede when you are wrong, and work out a compromise.

All of these things contribute to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, but you have to remember that a real relationship is not always roses and romance. The day to day living can many times not seem to leave enough time or energy for working at a relationship. Both of you will have to make the effort to take time out for two, and remember that love is not just a feeling, it is an action.