How to be a Mall Santa Claus for Christmas Cash

Once you've got the suit, beard, wig, and so on, you're ready to be Santa. This can lead to gigs at parties and for other public events. What do you say?

1. It helps if you can develop a good Ho Ho Ho. Forget the nutty Australians. I know it sounds unnatural but you gotta do the H- Ho ho thing. Kids expect to hear Ho Ho Ho, parents expect to hear Ho Ho Ho. So you go: Ho Ho Ho!

2. You have to know the names of the reindeer. Just try to get that popular Rudolph line down to get them in order and that'll help: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. Some child will eventually ask their names.

3. You'll need to think fast on some other questions. I got asked: who is your mother? I fumbled a bit, but then said "Mrs. Claus. Not Mrs. Claus my wife, but Mrs Claus my mother." It worked,

4. Expect the occasional child who brings cookies or maybe oats for the reindeer. Just set them aside with appropriate comments. For cookies, just say you'll love to have them later with you milk. For the oats, just say the reindeer will love them, they love oats more than anything.

5. The child may not want to sit on your lap. Go with it. If they show reluctance, I tell them they can sit on my lap or just stand next to me, "whatever you want." Interestingly, most then jump into my lap.

6. Ask their name first. Use it once or twice if you can.

7. Expect some mumbling and soft voices. It isn't important you really hear clearly what they want since your response will always be the same. However, keep in mind that there will be kids who will bring you a written list or who will show you a magazine clipping showing what they want. Use that: examine the picture closely, ask if they have anything similar already, that sort of thing.

8. Do not promise them anything specific. Just say "I'll see what I can do. But whatever you get for Christmas, I'll make sure it's something you like."

9. Be ready to make adjustments to this advice depending on the circumstances, whether you are a guest at a children's party or in public with a line of kids ready to jump in your lap and provide their list.