How a Man Can Become a More Effective Communicator with His Partner

Many men, but not all, have trouble communicating effectively with their partner. This is perhaps the number one complaint of many women. They convey this in therapy, women's magazines, newspaper columns, and through a variety of other sources. The fact is that men don't communicate quite like women do. It's all in how we are socialized. And because socialization is learned, we can also learn to communicate more effectively with our partners.

The key to communicating with anyone is listening, whether that is someone we just met, a friend or family member, or even our boss. Listening is by far the most important part of communicating. When we effectively listen to whoever is speaking we become involved in that person and what they are saying to us. When effectively listening we are not thinking about what we are going to say, nor are we anticipating what the other is going to say next. Instead, we listen to the other with a clear mind. And many women want their partner to listen more effectively.

Men often make the mistake of thinking that their partner is looking for solutions when the partner is talking to them. However, sometimes this is a huge mistake. Often women just want their partner to listen to the problem without giving advice. Even though men are socialized to be problem solvers, we shouldn't give advice or attempt to solve our partner's problems unless they ask for it. Often when our partner communicates their problems they are processing their own thoughts and not looking for answers.

Whenever talking with your partner you should never put them down, even in a joking manner. Even when joking, your partner may not see the put down as a joke, especially if she is trying to be serious. Joking put downs about intelligence, your partner's appearance, or other personal things, can actually be painful to your partner, even though she might not say much about it. Keep in mind that put downs do have a tendency to be painful for anyone, especially coming from someone we care about.

Interrupting you partner while they are talking is perhaps the number one complaint that most women express. Interrupting your partner is tied in to effectively listening to your partner. Moreover, it is very rude to interrupt anyone when they are talking. In fact, no one likes to be interrupted when they are talking. None of us interrupts our boss when they are talking. Interrupting can cause your partner, or anyone else for that matter, to lose their train of thought about what they trying to convey to you, therefore important information can be lost.

We have looked at some ways for a man to become a better communicator with his partner. And the list of ways is not limited to what we mentioned here. Moreover, all of them can actually be applied to all of our interactions to help improve all our relationships with everyone we come into contact with.