How to Get Married Without the Expense

Getting married is something many people dream of for much of their lives, yet it is often the most dreaded financial expense many couples face as they start their lives together. Traditionally, the bride's parents were in charge of paying for the wedding ceremony and reception as a sort of dowry, but in many cases today the happy couple is burdened with the increasing cost of funding the entire event. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to spend a lot to have a beautiful and enjoyable experience.

My husband and I decided to get married earlier this year. We had been living together for over two years and wanted to make a lifelong commitment to each other. Initially we discussed hopping on a plane to Las Vegas and perhaps going to a drive-thru wedding chapel or even having an Elvis impersonator do the deed. Of course, our friends were aghast. How could we elope when they wanted to be included in the celebration? I have a feeling more couples would elope if they did not feel the pressure of family and friends. The stress the wedding industry places on couples, particularly brides-to-be, is enormous and for good reason - it is a billion dollar plus industry, employing such diverse tradespeople as photographers, caterers, tailors, limousine drivers and priests. Many people do give in to the pressure for whatever reason - upbringing, delirium, too much alcohol - yet, you do have a choice.

First, stay away from the wedding websites and magazines as much as possible. They are marketing tools used to promote services that you do not need. Designed to make you feel as if you are being educated about the how-tos of preparing for your big day, they really just encourage excess and foster anxiety by showing you how to have an ever-increasingly complicated and more expensive wedding. You are much better off deciding what is most important to you and asking friends and relatives for referrals on the services you actually do need. The internet can be a useful tool, but use it judiciously, as there are many ways to get caught in the trap of keeping up with the Joneses, or the Hiltons for that matter.

Second, keep the lines of communication open. Talk to your fiance about what he or she expects out of your wedding day. Do not assume that all women want a big white wedding and do not take it for granted that all men do not. Hopefully this is something you have already discussed with your partner, but for some people (such as my husband and myself) the idea of marriage was not expressly linked the idea of a wedding. Decide what type of venue you prefer - is a church wedding necessary or would a park or beach work just as well? What type of food to serve, what to wear, who to invite and what time of day are all considerations you will need to hash out together.

Three of the most expensive parts of a wedding include the location, the food and the drinks.

So, where do you have the ceremony and reception? An indoor event is often more costly, yet I have heard of people hosting the event in their Home Owner Association's clubhouse for free. Ask around and you may be amazed at the answers you will find. Outdoor venues often offer not only an inexpensive alternative to indoor events, but also provide free decorations in the form of trees, plants, birds and other natural scenery. We were able to rent the lower half of a small park in Montecito, California for a little over a hundred dollars for the entire day. With picnic tables on one side and a grassy knoll on the other, we managed to have both the ceremony and the reception in one of the most beautiful settings I can imagine for less than we spend on sushi on any given night. Keep in mind that the time of day, what time of year and the day of the week will all impact your expense. A Saturday in June will be one of the most expensive times you could possibly choose to have a wedding, unless you plan early and look for bargains.

Food is another matter to take into consideration, as is how to serve both food and beverages. Buffet style works well and can be done nicely with preparation. Call around to local delicatessens and restaurants to ask about their catering packages. You can tailor this part of the reception to the time of day and the place that you are having your event. We did sandwich, cheese and vegetable platters, since we got married in the early afternoon in a park - it was nicely done and fit with the generally relaxed mood of the party. Other people I have talked to have had their local Mexican restaurant cater and spent even less than we did for the same amount of food. Tamales always make it feel like a party, so I say think outside of the box - you can't go wrong if it makes you happy.

Likewise with beverages. Traditional champagne service will cost an arm and a leg, while heading to Costco for sparkling and still wines may save you a bundle. Opt for a serve yourself beer and wine bar and you may find that you spend far less than expected. If you feel the need to splurge on champagne, buy enough for the wedding party only - believe me, your guests won't care if they are drinking Andre Brut rather than Cristal.

The cake is another big drop in the bucket for many weddings. Look at bakeries for cakes or cupcakes that have nothing to do with wedding bells and doves and you will find that you will spend far less than those specifically designed for weddings. Order a small cake or designer cupcake for the two of you and pick a couple of specialty round cakes for your guests and you will most likely spend less than a hundred dollars for a delicious dessert. Order a wedding cake and you will probably spend at least twice as much, if not more.

You can rent plates, napkins and glassware from party rental places, often for a nominal fee. Try to have a member of the wedding party pick up the items, as much of the cost incurred is from delivery. This is true of tables and chairs, as well. If you have a bit extra left over in the budget, you may want to go ahead and spring for the pick-up, though. The sight of people coming to take the equipment away after the event is often preferable to managing to get the groomsmen to return the goods, especially if it means that they have to forgo the celebratory toast to drive after the party.

What about the trimmings? Often, when planning your event, the little things start to add up quickly.

One of the largest expenses aside from those mentioned above is the photographer. Pictures are an essential part of your wedding day, but choosing the right photographer or creating alternatives to having a photographer can allay some of the expense. If you must have a traditional photographer, contact students at your local community college or art school. Many students offer their services at very reasonable prices in order to build their portfolio. Make sure that you see some of their previous work prior to hiring them for the job, just as you would for a professional - most students have a portfolio as part of their school requirements. You can also elect not to hire a photographer and have your guests take the pictures. Buying several disposable camerasthat can be passed around among the guests will give you a view of the wedding from an insider's perspective.

Preparing your own floral decorations is an excellent way to save money. Buy flowers at a local farmers market to place in vases bought at the arts and crafts store. Better yet, choose a venue that doesn't need much decorating, such as the beach or a park, and you can cross one more thing off the list. The bouquet and boutonnieres can also be made at home for less than what you would have to pay a florist - there are a number of websites dedicated to showing you how to create beautiful bridal bouquets on a budget. Invitations can also be made inexpensively, yet beautifully. In fact, many stationary shops and even office supply stores offer kits that can save you a serious amount of money.

By choosing to save yourself the expense of a large, overdone wedding day, you will cut down your stress level and your environmental impact, as well. By thinking creatively, you can actually enjoy the event and have a bit more to spend on the honeymoon.