How Men Can Survive PMS

I raised my eyebrows and wondered if I could simply accept the fact that I would probably never have grandchildren and may face frequent visits to my son in the hospital. Then I realized he was only 9 and I still had time to prepare him for reality.

Most men have been in the position of dealing with a woman's PMS, or Premenstrual Syndrome. Often, they don't know to handle it. They actually stand and argue with her, then wonder later what just happened. The information below was put here to help the average man to survive his woman's PMS. Take it seriously. Learn it well. Implementing it may increase your chances of survival.

Never, ever ask her if she has PMS. Have you ever stuck a pencil in your ear drum? That might be more pleasant than the response she's going to give you. It's okay to know that she has PMS. It's just not safe to mention it.

Give in to her cravings. It doesn't matter if she is on a strict diet or has forbidden sugar in the house. If she asks you for chocolate, run, don't walk to the nearest source. Yes, it is okay to take chocolate from your small child to appease her. At this point, it's all abut survival. You can buy your child another candy bar after the crisis has passed.

Do not ask questions. This may start a conversation. In fact, don't even start a conversation at all. In the end, it will lead to discussing some wrong doing you did that you were completely unaware of. It doesn't matter if you revived her grandmother with CPR. She will think that you would rather put your lips on her grandmother than her. In the event that a potential future wrong doing of yours is discussed, tread carefully and simply do your best to convince her you would never wrong her in any way.

Be invisible. This is a technique employed whenever a prey meets the presence of a predator. If she doesn't notice you, you may be able to sneak away to safety. Walk quietly and try not to disturb anything.

Avoid eye contact. Although there are no documented cases of the evilness of PMS being able to transfer from one person to the other, why take chances? Also, eye contact may lead to communication and we've already discussed the importance of avoiding that.

Be prepared. In the event that the person you used to think of as a loving woman actually initiates a conversation, you need to be prepared to respond. Do NOT ignore her. This can lead to severe damage to your bodily parts or property. Instead simply be prepared to take the blame for whatever she decides.

Use short answers. A woman with PMS is like an evil twister of words. Whatever you say, she is going to twist around so that it seems that you have made some grievous error. Use yes or no answers whenever possible and never volunteer any information. It WILL be used against you.

Pray. Though PMS may be a sign of God's sense of humor, there's nothing like going right to the source. Don't be afraid to pray. It may be the only conversation you have that day which makes sense.

Disclaimer: The author of the information provided here is in no way responsible for any damage that the reader may incur upon being caught reading this information. She has no legal or financial obligation regarding the term "PMS" or any other term a man unwisely used with regards to female hormones.