How to Mess Up a First Date

As some girls will say guys are pigs. Well this is how you can be a total pig to a girl on a first date. This will guarantee she will never want to ever date you again. You can be labeled the biggest pig on two legs. I can guarantee she will tell all her friends and you can be famous.

Don't use any good manners

When you pick her up let honk out in the driveway or street. Do not get out to open the door for her. Drive away when she has one leg stuck out. Make sure you turn corners sharply. If your late don't apologize for it.

Show up late

Show up a little late and don't be dressed for your date. Tell her you was running late but do not offer any explanations why. Drive by your place or ask to use her shower. This will put on her bad date list before you get started.

Take her to a topless bar or someplace like it

Take her to a topless bar. You could also go to where they have female mud wrestling. A pool hall is another good choice. If she has not eaten you can buy a pizza or something.

Go to restaurant and ask her to go dutch

If she absolutely expects to eat in a restaurant ask her to go dutch treat. This will be sure to irritate her. You could buy her a meal and order a salad make sure you make a big deal about the prices. Leave without leaving a tip. Act like a complete jerk about having to buy any food.

Take her to the movies and whine about her choice

Whatever movie she picks even if you want to see it tell her its lame. Make a comment that you could pick a better movie to see. Don't offer to buy any popcorn. If you buy any give her a handful and eat the whole box yourself. Try to pick seats where there are people around. During the movie if you want to end the date quickly try to make the moves on her. You will most likely get slapped. She will either run out and take a cab or have you take her home. By this time the date is pretty much over.

Don't walk her to her door

Let off at her house and don't walk her to her door. She will not ask you call her. If she enjoyed her date she may not be right in the head or figure you was just trying to get rid of her. If you were the biggest jerk she ever dated you will never have to take her out any more.

This article was all sarcasm but some people don't know how to act on a date. This is definitely not how to act. If you want to date her again don't follow my suggestions.