"How I Met Your Mother" - Getting Closer to Barney's "Natural History"

Taxi Chit-Chat
Barney loves to "suit up," and thanks to Goliath National Bank, he and his "How I Met Your Mother" friends were dressed in black tie and on their way to the National History Museum Fall Spectacular. They'd suited up in fine, formal attire, and would attend the fundraiser with the city's most powerful people.

Marshall contemplated their college selves seeing them dressed in black tie. He mentioned his pending 5 year GNB contract and Lily assumed he wouldn't accept it. In her mind, Marshall was destined to quit his job and help save the world.

Barney reminisced about his uncle Jerry taking 6 year old Barney to the museum.

Barney - "The forbidden is always seductive."

Barney's childhood rebellion kicked in as he entered the museum. He explained how his uncle Jerry said "don't touch anything," and at 6 he'd snapped off a triceratops rib and used it to bring down a blue whale suspended from the ceiling. No one believed that tale, of course, but when gala sponsor, George van Smoot (he renamed himself the Captain) said "have fun but don't touch anything," Barney accepted it as a challenge.

Robin - "You wanna dance? Let's dance."

Sweet Canadian good girl, Robin Scherbatsky, rarely goes to the dark side; but Barney knows how to push those bad girl buttons. "Want to go touch a bunch of stuff?" he said, and Robin joined Barney in an evening of artifact abuse. Instead of sipping cocktails with the rich, they swilled scotch and beer and touched, fondled, rubbed and danced their way through the museum.

Marshall and Lily - "Affirmatutely?"

Lily had believed she and Marshall were the same anti establishment couple they were in college, but Marshall changed. He told Lily he planned to sign the 5 year contract because he liked GNB. Lily had always talked about Marshall becoming an environmental lawyer, but he'd held her off in true "How I Met Your Mother" fashion, making up words like "affirmatutely" and "absotively." Lily thought he was agreeing with her.

Later Lily had an imaginary conversation with the imaginary College Marshall museum exhibit. She decided she would be okay with his plans to make a lot of money.

Ted - "Wieners and gonads"

Ted didn't notice Marshall and Lily were arguing when he began explaining his "architecture fun fact." If you whispered in a certain spot, a person on the other side of the room could hear you. He entertained himself demonstrating that theory. He whispered "poo-poo," "boogers" and " wieners and gonads," and watched the response. Then he spotted his ex girlfriend Zoey Pierson.

Zoey, now the Captain's young trophy wife, had written an op-ed piece blasting GNB's plans to tear down a beautiful old building. She labeled Ted a "fat cat" for his architect role. In the museum Bug Room, Zoey recorded Ted admitting he disagreed with the GNB project. She threatened to use it against him, but later changed her mind.

Uncle Jerry

In the meantime the security guard caught up with Barney and Robin. While he had them in custody, he talked about museum pranks over the years, including a "legendary" 6 year old knocking down a blue whale. He read from his 30 year old report "...returned to the custody of Jerry Whitaker, his father. "

Barney remembered his mother being mad at uncle Jerry. "He never came around after that," he told Robin. " I think he moved away."

Barney made Robin promise not to tell anyone Uncle Jerry was his father.