How to Make a Military Marriage Work?

V.C. Higuera
1. Know What to Expect

When you marry a military man or woman, know what to expect before walking down the aisle. Everyone knows about deployments and the constant threat of war. However, military personnel are also required to work long duties, and sudden, shorter deployments are always a possibility. Weekend plans can be interrupted with orders for your spouse to leave for two weeks - effective tomorrow.

2. Join a Support Group

Support groups are perfect for military spouses. When you feel like you're on the edge of a nervous breakdown, talking about your frustrations can help. Browse the telephone directory and find a local group. For one or two days a week, you can express your feelings and receive encouragement from persons in the same situation.

3. Take a Mental Break

Since military personnel are deployed for long periods, the remaining spouse is left behind to care for children and the household. Stay-at-home moms may have trouble because they don't have an outlet. If the responsibility becomes too much, hire a babysitter one or two days a week, or ask a friend to watch the children for a few hours.

4. Trust Your Spouse

While away from home, some spouses cheat. For this reason, the spouse left behind may always have a nagging feeling in the pit of their stomach. Worrying can lead to physical problems such as depression, constipation, fatigue, etc. If you haven't received a phone call in a few weeks, or if the last telephone conversation ended with an argument, it's easy for our minds to conjure up unpleasant stories. Trust your husband or wife, and remember, it's not easy for them either.

5. Keep a Budget

You've probably heard it before, a military husband returns home from deployment and find his savings account empty and electricity turned off. Many military personnel earn modest salaries. If their spouse doesn't work, this means living on a tight budget. The remaining spouse is responsible for the family finances. If he or she can't budget money, or has a spending problem, this creates additional hardships.

6. Plan for Deployments

Deployments are hard. However, couples can survive this difficult time. Prior to the deployment, make communication arrangement. Record a video message for young children, get a free e-mail account, and promise to stay in-touch. The remaining spouse should find ways to occupy his or her time. If you stay busy or active, the time will pass faster.

Published by V.C. Higuera

Freelance personal finance and health writer from Chesapeake, VA  View profile

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