How Moms Can Make Time for Themselves

We all know how it is as a mom-always putting the needs of others before our own. We spend the day helping our kids with their homework, cleaning up our house, so spending time with our significant other, cooking, being taxi-mom, being PTA mom, leading the usher board, singing in the church choir, and even taking care of the animals (I'm talking about the pets, not the kids J). But seriously ladies, we were many hats throughout the day and we switch from one to the other without even thinking about it. One minute we can be the family chef, the next minute the after school tutor, the next minute the bedroom seductress. So with all of this giving to others, when are we giving to ourselves? We must give something to ourselves ladies, because if we don't...who will? I know the drawings that the kids give you are great, but come on-When was last time YOU'VE done something for yourself?

Well, I know you might not want to hear this, ...ahem (clearing my throat), but you really do have the time to do those things that you want to do. Seriously. Now, first let me tell you that's it not your fault that you have not pursued those things that you know you should be doing for yourself. "Not my fault?", you might be thinking. That's right. Repeat after me, "It's not my fault." Let's take a trip down memory lane. Back to the days where we spent a lot of time using our imaginations. Some of us played with dolls , trucks, "pretend house" or even "doctor". Remember how fun those days were when you could just spend the whole day playing. Especially in the summer time when you didn't have to worry about doing homework or going to school the next day. You could hang with your neighborhood friends all day just playing away. You had so much fun that hours and hours went by before you even realized you were even hungry. And if you were really into your play session, you held your pee for so long that you'd almost go on yourself just so you could spend more time playing. Yup, those were the days. Now the question is, what made those "the days?" Well, obviously one thing that allowed us to have so much fun was the lack of responsibilities. I mean sure we had chores, and maybe we had to care for a sibling or two...but come on, we didn't have mortgage payments or jobs, and the onlykids we had weren't even real.

Now do you know something else that I remember about those days. I remember having fun just because I was a kid and that was what I was expected to be doing. How many times did your mom tell you to go to your room and play or to go outside and play? How many times do we say that to our kids? That's something that kids are just expected to do. Playing was fun, right, until...sometime near jr. high. or high school when recess was wiped out competely was no longer a part of the school day. I remember my first day at jr. high. I was so excited to be with the big kids, I was finally in 7^th grade. I got my class schedule and was a having a great day until I got to lunch and realized that we had 30 minutes to eat...and do whatever kind of playing I wanted to do. Now, a quick look outside should have raised my radar flags. No monkey bars, no tetherball, no swings, just a basketball court, baseball field, and a running track. After lunch I went straight to the principal's office to file a complaint. I mean, why should I give up recess just because I was 3 months older than I was before summer break? Well, needless to say I didn't bring back recess. I was actually told to be proud because my not needing a recess break showed that I was maturing and becoming an adult.

So, you see what I mean now? It's not our fault that we don't take time to do things we enjoy-it has been embedded in us. According to my principal, becoming an adult meant spending less time playing and unfortunately this is the view that most adults hold. We don't "play" or do fun things that we enjoy. We act so serious most of the time, afraid that if we pause to do something for ourselves that everything will fall apart. I remember a time when I noticed that one of my friends was stressed out from taking care of her family's needs. It had been so long since we had hung out without the kids and I could tell by her demeanor that she was frustrated and probably a little depressed too. I said, "Girl, when are you gonna take a break and do something for yourself?" She said, "I can't take a break, I guess I'll get rest when I die."

We live in a society were we move at such a fast pace. We have so many obligations and when someone wants something from us, even though we know we are overloaded we take on more...pushing our own needs to the back burner. Well, I'm here to tell you that you must take time for yourself. YOU MUST. Don't wait until you die to get what you want from life because then it will be too late. I've never heard a dead person say that they're glad they worked so hard pleasing everybody else and never did anything for themselves because now they are resting good...but then again I've never heard a dead person say anything. Now, let me just clarify. I am not suggesting that we neglect our responsibilities in anyway. But I am suggestion that we make time for ourselves daily, even if it is only for 15 minutes. Think of it as giving to yourself so that you can be rejuvenated to do morefor others. It's just a way of loving yourself. And as RuPaul said, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"