How to Be More Approachable

Being approachable is an easy thing to accomplish. There are several things needed, but all of those things are straightforwardly done. The thing to keep always in mind is that you can't please everybody, but you can certainly be considered as sociable by the majority of people by following these guidelines.

First we're going to talk about the outside. What others will see with their eyes. And I'm not talking about complexion. It's your presentation what matters.

Be clean.
Hygiene is mostly underrated. I'm not talking about being impeccable all the time. Simply have a decent haircut -it can be long or short, even modern or "out-of-bed" style, but keep it neat. There's a huge difference between a "messy" style, and a greasy, untrimmed hair.

Cut your nails, keep them short if you're a guy, and keep them at a decent length if you're a gal; and regardless of gender, keep them clean. Your hands are, a lot of times, your presentation card. You shake hands, you wave, you sign, you pay, make gestures... all with your hands. And people see them. Who likes a sweaty or slimy handshake?

Bathe. Daily. I cannot stress this enough. Taking a bath can mean a world of difference in your interactions with people. People are certainly not very approachable when they smell like the garbage truck.

Your clothes.
They don't have to be the latest fashion, or the most expensive. But dressing properly is crucial. In any circumstance, clothes must be clean. It's also a good idea that clothes don't make you look like you're stuck a couple of decades in the past, unless it's your style. But even if vintage is your style, colour matching and tidiness are key.
Shoes should also be clean. You can wear casual, sport or dressing shoes, but keep them clean, and matching with what you're wearing. I once saw a gorgeous lady in a red dress at a wedding... wearing sneakers. It's just common sense, not the fashion police.

The details.
Everyone has heard this: the small things are what matter. And they certainly are. By now, you appearance is pretty good. But we can just add -or avoid certain accessories and details. Perfume is a good idea, just don't empty half a bottle daily; it's like an invitation, once you're approached, to keep the contact, not to be noticed 2 blocks away.

Jewelry, watches, glasses, tattoos, piercings... those just have to match your style, but make sure your style isn't unpleasant or too aggressive, that people will be driven away from you.

And now we will talk about the inner stuff. The attitude, the reactions, and the way to conduct yourself.

Smile.
This is probably the most important advice. It doesn't mean that you have to be smiling all the time, which actually would be kinda bad, since people would think you're being hypocritical. Smile when you say "please" and "thank you". If someone smiles at you, smile back.
Smiles should be sincere and not just a quick smirk, that makes you face look weird. Practice in the mirror. And smile all you can. If you are smiled back, it's a great sign! Not only you're approachable, you're actually ready to approach that person if you're interested, since most of the times, causing a reaction like that means that the other person wants to be approached, or that at least liked your smile.
Accompanied by the smile, is being nice overall. Say nice, yet simple things like "please", "thanks", "hello", "good night". Open the door for someone. Be courteous and kind to kids, young people, senior citizens, even to pets.

Be positive.
Who likes grumpy people? If your intentions are being approachable, you better learn to see the bright side in all things. See problems as challenges, opportunities.
Imagine yourself with a problem, and a person comes by. This person wonders what your problem is, but one attitude will make the person wonder how he can help you, or just ask what's going on, and the other attitude is going to make the person wonder what the fastest escape route is and wish you haven't noticed his or her presence.
Having a positive attitude towards anything is also vital: it helps you solve your problems, and -bonus points- you give a good impression to the people around you.

Be yourself.
Very much importantly, don't imitate others, and don't try to be something you are not. Being honest is not just telling the truth, but being the real you, too. This helps you being approachable because you will be at peace with yourself and show more confidence about your person, but most importantly, because if people approach you for the wrong reasons, you'll end up alone.
If you dress like an aviator and someone comes and wants to talk about planes but you have no clue, that person not only will go away, but will go away maybe even angry or just disappointed with your dishonesty, and upset that he was deceived and lost time with someone who was trying to be someone else.
When you talk to people, don't try to impress, just make conversation of what you like, what you know, and show interest on what the other likes and knows. It's that simple.

Be confident.
Most people say that this is not as easy as it sounds. But it is. Do you think you are the only one who's scared of what others think? That's right, what you think, is what everybody else thinks. We are all just people, men and women, boys and girls. Humans with feelings and thoughts and fears and millions of things in mind.
So just relax, and the next time you're feeling nervous about how people will look at your hair, remember that they are also nervous about how their hair looks and what you might think of it.

So these are my advices on being approachable. You can't be liked by everyone, but having a good appearance and a nice attitude can certainly improve the odds.

by Tom Parra, 2009