How to Get More Hugs from Your Teenager

When I go to hug my teenage son, instead of a hug back, I get a shriek and a groan. Followed by, "Can I go now?" Basically he is asking if the torture is over. It didn't used to be like this. When he was a little boy, he would run up to me and I would get a big ole bear hug for no reason. Gone are those days.

Instead, I'm lucky if he actually responds to what I have to say. But hope is not lost. You can get your teen to hug you and pay attention to you .... if you use brute force. Now, I grab him, hug him and don't let go until he hugs me back. Try it. It works. What else works? Threats.

Punish for a Bad Attitude and a Lack of Affection

I'm not kidding. If he doesn't pay attention to us, or disses us in any way, the internet goes. That's enough to snap any kid to attention. Do you have those days when your child pays absolutely no attention to anything you say? He just nods and agrees. Sure he can repeat back what you just said, but you see absolutely nothing registering in that overloaded brain of his. Tell him to listen to your every word, or....the internet goes. And then follow through. Believe me, he will hang on your every word.

Force Your Teen to Spend Time With You

My husband and I used to make our son watch a movie with us every Saturday night. He always found an excuse to be on the Xbox instead. So we figured that must be too much to ask. So, he watches with us once a month or no allowance. And we have dinner as a family every night. There's no room for negotiation there. And he never even asks to violate that one.

Spend a Few Days Apart

Our son is going away to an athletic camp in a few weeks. Although he is not apprehensive (it's only five days), I have noticed that he has a new appreciation for his surroundings now that he knows he will leave them soon. He complains about our food all the time. I'm convinced that nearly a week of dorm food will have him requesting Dad's homemade pizza as soon as he gets home, instead of just complaining about the crust.

Even if you have to send your kid to Grandma's overnight, it will do the trick. There really is no place like home, in the eyes of a teenager.

Remind Your Kid to Hug You

Even with all these rules, we still have to tell him every night to give us hugs. He never spontaneously wraps his arms around us. (That will be the day.) Friends with older children tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that at some point your "cool" kid will begin to appreciate you and everything you do for him. I'm waiting.