How to Be More Patient

What happens to you when you are stuck in traffic? What happens when you have to repeat yourself a few times before someone gets what you're saying? Does anything change within you? Do you feel tension? Agitated? Or even angry?

We all get impatient sometimes, it's normal. However, if you become impatient any time you experience some sort of delay, or when things aren't progressing the way you want them to, it becomes a problem that needs to be addressed.

So, how can you learn to be more patient?

Figure out Why You Get Impatient

Almost anything we do, we do for a reason. We think in some way that it's improving something, it's making something better, and that we're benefiting from it. Ask yourself, "Why am I becoming impatient?" "What do I think this is improving, how is this making things better?"

Discovering why impatience is such an issue is important because if you try to stop doing something without knowing why you're doing it, you aren't going to be very successful. The reasoning behind the behavior is still there, and that reasoning is what's fueling your actions.

When Do You Become Impatient?

Become aware of situations when you get impatient and start asking yourself questions. You can ask yourself these questions whether you're in a situation or just thinking about one. Ask, "What am I so agitated about right now?" "How is it making me feel?" "Is being impatient making the situation any better?" The answer is obviously going to be no. So now, ask yourself, "What can I do right now to make this experience less grueling?" "Can I think about something that will distract me?" Follow through on whatever works to help you be more patient. Don't dismiss it as pointless.

How Does Your Impatience Affect Those You Care About?

Take the time to visualize the effect your lack of patience has on the people you care about. Impatience can hurt others and it can damage our relationships with them. So imagine some situations where you lost your cool. Did you notice the look on everyone's faces? How did they respond to your behavior? How do you think they felt?

Really imagine how it was for them. Sometimes taking the time to step outside of ourselves, and observe how other people are experiencing our actions, can give us motivation to change.

Force Yourself to be Patient

Purposely make yourself do things that require you to exercise patience. Do this regularly. Eventually you are going to get to a point where you give up and accept it. You'll be forced into patience, because the discomfort of fighting against it will become to much to handle.

We all become impatient for different reasons and circumstances. Create patience practice periods based on the situations that are the biggest struggle for you.

Here are some examples of ways you can force yourself into patience:

a. If you see something that you want at the store, don't buy it. Instead see if you can find it online, and purchase it. This way you'll have to be patient while you wait for it to arrive.

b. If you go out to eat one night, and the host or hostess tells you there is going to be a wait, instead of leaving, put your name on the list and practice being patient while you wait for a table.

c. Maybe you get impatient with your children when they don't catch on to something as quick as you'd like them too. Why not sit down with them and play a new game with them, explain the rules to them, and make it a point to explain it to them just as kindly the fifth time you say it as the first time.

Be Patient With Yourself

Remember too, that part of overcoming impatience is learning how to be patient with ourselves. During this process you are going to give up and give in to the frustration. Its ok when that happens; just be aware of it and keep working on it. In time, you'll better understand the reasons for your impatience and develop greater control over it. And, the best part is, it gets easier.