How to Be a More Romantic Partner

Have you ever wondered about how to be a more romantic partner? Ironically while romance seems to be something many people, male and female, claim to want, being a more romantic partner for someone else is something that is somehow less sought after. Perhaps that's because being a romantic partner as a teen, a young adult or even a senior citizen is too easily consigned to that list of talents that you are either born with or without and for which there is no point striving. It is often love which makes us willing to take the step by step approach and put in the time and energy required to add at least a touch more romance to our lives.

At the real heart of it, romance seems to be based on a certain sensitivity and while some people do seem to be more naturally sensitive or aware of their surroundings and especially of other people, it is possible for all of us to work to increase our own level of open minded observation if we really want to be a more romantic partner. The key to the kind of sensitivity that will help to make you a more romantic partner is working to see the world from your partner's perspective. This means thinking not about what gift you would like to give him or her but what gift they would like to receive from you. Or it can mean taking your partner off on mystery rides that unwind not to your favorite places but to places that you have been sensitive and tuned in enough to discover are yoru partner's favorite spots. Working hard at understanding the feelings and actions of others opens you up to the possibility of treating that person in a whole new, tender and yes, romantic way. You can become a more romantic partner by listening better and watching better and incorporating what you hear and see into your actions towards your partner.

It is, of course, not enough just to gather up statistics about your partner and reform your actions accordingly. Real romance is always accented with the presence of genuine caring. Giving someone the best gift, taking them on the most exquisite adventure are steps to romance, but all gestures, big or small, take on meaning to the degree that real, honest caring is part of the package. There is a wonderful old poem by James Russell Lowell that says " the gift without the giver is bare" and so mocks the value of any gift offered without the presence of the giver. The saying rings true for romance too. The romantic gesture, whatever it may be, offered without the full hearted presence of the romantic partner can be extraordinarily shallow and meaningless. .

You don't have to watch much television or see many movies to recognize that romantic gesture's are often aided and abetted by what one might call fearless spontaneity. Acts that come without thought, without plan, without structure but come straight from the heart have an amazingly romantic allure about them. Sir Walter Raleigh putting his cape across a puddle so that Queen Elizabeth might cross gives an example of this kind of fearless spontaneity. A situation presents itself and out of care and concern one acts, without fear of being thought silly or foolish, to benefit the partner for whom one truly cares. Showing fearless spontaneity means giving in to feelings promptly and without the assistance of a "romance blueprint", going forward with an action for which there is no guarantee of success touches hearts deeply.

Which perhaps points to the last element of romance, what we sometimes too casually refer to as vulnerability. There are few things that light a brighter torch of romance in a person's heart than being invited in to share the inner feelings, hidden doubts, quiet concerns and life long sensitivities of a loved partner. This does not mean that if you want to become a more romantic partner you should begin dumping every workday problem, every road rage incident, every personal conflict in your partner's lap. Vulnerability means being willing from time to time to share weaknesses, private hopes, tender dreams. It means fully trusting that your partner will listen and will care. It is this kind of open demonstration of confidence and faith that has the pwer to touch the heart of a loved partner in a uniquely romantic way.

Romance isn't just for the young, neither does it always require the expertise gained from years of loving relationships. Romance and your ability to be a more romantic partner depend not on age or experience but on your willingness to grow in sensitivity, caring, spontaneity and vulnerability . These are traits we all can understand, we all can possess to a degree and we all can nurture.

Sources:
www.reformationsa.org
www.livinglifefully.com