How to Move on from a Relationship

Relationships are never easy. Breakups are tough. Even more difficult is moving on from the relationship and picking up the pieces.

Sometimes breakups are sudden. Sometimes they are mutual, or not. But in the moment of the breakup everything seems to stand still. It can even feel like an out-of-body experience while you are watching helplessly as the world you once knew is shattering right before your eyes.

Once the dust settles and the realization that the relationship is over settles in, the newly single often struggle with how to move on from a relationship.

Avoid contact with the other person

Unless you have children together, the best way to move forward is to move on. The "just friends" attitude usually doesn't work or help one move on, perhaps later on but not now. Get rid of anything that reminds you of the other person: pictures, texts, presents, etc. Place them in box, trash them or burn them (carefully!). Out of sight, out of mind.

Reflect

One mistake that most people make is to try to avoid the pain and not think about the breakup. Reflect on the good and the bad of the relationship and you may realize that there was a reason why it ended. In hindsight, vision is 20/20. You may notice things that were once overlooked. Face the facts and move on.

Know that it is okay to feel emotions

Sadness, anxiety, anger, frustration and confusion are often emotions that arise after a relationship ends. These feelings are totally normal. Even though it can feel unbearable at times, know that with time these emotions will be easier to deal with. Fighting these emotions will only hinder the healing process.

Take responsibility

A relationship takes two fully committed people to function properly. It is fine to play the blame game for a bit but the best way to move on and learn is take responsibility for what could have been a fault and learn from it. Even if that means taking responsibility for falling for a jerk.

Look forward not backward

It is totally fine to take time to self-indulge and spoil yourself after a breakup but try to limit dwelling and sulking time. Keep moving forward instead of living in the past.

Learn, adjust and grow

Relationships shouldn't be viewed as failures but instead viewed as lessons. These are opportunities to learn about yourself, your wants and your needs. Learn what you can live with and what you can't live without in a relationship. By learning more about yourself, you can also adjust and grow for future and new relationships.

Let go

Clean the slate. Cut the ropes. Start anew. Let go of feelings of failure, guilt, anger or resentment. The hardest part, that may or may not come, is forgiveness. Stop blaming others, the other person and yourself.

Get involved

Find a new love. Broaden your horizons. Take up a hobby, volunteer, spend time with loved ones. This new "love" may not be in the form of a person but find something you love doing. Not only will it take your mind off of the breakup but it may just jump-start your next romance by finding someone who loves the same things you do.