How to Make Moving Easier For Your Kids

I spent the first 18 years of my life as an army brat. Nearly every two years my father got stationed in a new city meaning that my mother, older brother, and I had to pull up stakes and move to a new state starting over once again. I was lucky enough to be one of the few military brats I ever knew that loved moving from place to place. For me it was always an adventure, a chance to start over with new friends and see new things. I assumed my brother felt the same way but when we got older he told me how much he hated having to leave his friends and go into a classroom full of strangers. The thing he hated most, he told me, was how our parents always seemed to wait until the last minute to tell us we were moving. In retrospect I know he was right and now make it a point to be sure that I treat my daughter differently when it comes to moving by keeping in mind all the little things that used to upset me, and other military brats, growing up.

The one thing I did actually hate was that it didn't always seem to occur to my parents that they should let us know when we were going to move. Telling a child about an impending or possible move as soon as you know can save your little one a lot of heartache. Often children find out about big events by overhearing their parents talk when they think the child is sleeping.

Other times a close friend of the family or their child might be the one to tell your child. Some parents don't think twice about discussion an upcoming mood with a friend or coworker especially when they have to give notice to their job or they want to make arrangements to keep in touch with this friend. These friends might mention the move to their children who could tell the moving child without knowing that their friend has no idea they are going to be moving. Or the friend or coworker themselves might mention the move to the child never dreaming they haven't been told.

Both of these scenarios can be upsetting to a child regardless of their age. A young child might be confused when they hear from a friend or adult about the move then hurt when they find out that it wasn't all just some big mistake. An older child might be angry and embarrassed if they feel like they are the last to know about a potentially huge life altering event. It might even lead to future resentment.

Once your child knows that the family is going to move do what you can to help them keep in touch with current friends. That will make leaving them a little easier and ensure they still have peers who can relate to them while they are working on making new friends. Buy your son or daughter an address book or an electronic planner that will store name, address, and phone numbers. Also help them take pictures of themselves with their friends so they can remember good times with them. If your child is older and likes speaking on the phone get them a few phone cards so that they can speak to their friends whenever they want without running up a large phone bill. Whatever you do make sure that your child knows this is not the end of their friendships and that many people can remain life long friends even when they live far apart.