How Much Schoolwork Monitoring by Parents is Too Much?
Should Parents Monitor Their Children's Every Academic Step?
The trend among our local schools is to treat homework monitoring as a parental responsibility as much as, if not rather than, a student responsibility. One of my daughters came home from third grade telling me that her teacher told her that she had to sit down with a parent for one hour each night to do homework. This was required, she reported. She was not allowed to do homework on her own. My response was to inform the teacher that I was not going to sit with my children and do their homework with them because that approach runs counter to my parenting philosophy. I believe that children must be responsible for doing their homework and for dealing with the consequences if they fail to live up to the responsibility.
I will ask my children if they have homework. I will remind my children to do their homework. I will answer questions if they are confused about their homework. Beyond that, homework is their responsibility and has been throughout their school years.
As my children hit middle and high school, EDLINE became a popular tool. EDLINE is an online grade tracking site. Teachers post the results of each test or graded homework assignment in one section of EDLINE and post assignments in another. Parents and students are given passwords to access their own child's grade and assignment data. Teachers, even of high schoolers, encourage parents to check EDLINE to monitor their children's assignment completion and see their children's grades throughout the marking period.
What do I think of EDLINE? It's useful insofar as kids may forget what assignments are due or be confused as to whether make-ups are allowed. As a parental monitoring tool, I oppose the use of EDLINE. I don't need to know every classroom and homework assignment my children are given, nor do I need to track whether and when they are done. That is someone's responsibility, alright, but the someone is not me.
What I have observed among my children's classmates is that parental expectations when it comes to homework are often self-fulfilling prophecies. The parent who professes she or he "has to check" because the child "won't do homework without prodding," produces a child who resists doing homework. Parents anxious about their children always maintaining superior academic standing frequently wind up with children who are either unhappy perfectionists or who rebel by not living up to their potential. Encouraging children to always do their best but allowing them some freedom to explore what happens when they don't produces far more desirable results in my experience.
Is the parent who feels compelled to monitor his child's every academic step a variant of the helicopter parent? It seems sometimes to be the case. But schools, for their own ends, do their share to produce parents who monitor children's homework. Schools today are judged by children's performance. Teacher pay is being linked to performance with increasing frequency. Performance is measured by rote regurgitation of facts, not creative thinking. The latter would involve judgment, and standardized measurement is the antithesis of judgment. So it is in teachers' and schools' interest to push parents to push students to do schoolwork for short-term gain regardless of the life lessons lost by giving a child leeway to fail on occasion and recover from the experience.
Published by Carol Bengle Gilbert - Featured Contributor in Travel and Lifestyle
2010 Yahoo! Outstanding Contributor of the Year, Carol has consistently been designated a Top 100 Yahoo! Contributor Network writer. She received a 2008 People's Media Award for "Best Article." Carol’s pr... View profile
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9 Comments
Post a CommentGreat article! I believe as a child matures in age, it is the child's responsibility to ensure their homework is completed.
Wow, excellent article - I certainly agree that such "academic monitoring" is another form of helicopter parenting and in many ways is still "parents doing the child's homework for them." Kids who undergo that route will have a very difficult time adjusting as adults in society because they will expect everyone else to do everything for them. That's not how it works in a productive society. Awesome job, Carol!
I agree with your approach, Carol. I was particularly shocked with the teacher telling you (through your child, which is bizarre) that you must spend an hour each evening with your child. I would have been livid at such a demand. I wonder if it was a school’s policy or just that teacher’s. I’m a big proponent at improving schools, but not at the expense (dollars or time) of the parent. Thought provoking material.
Another great article from a great content publisher!
Terrific article! I used to help the kids out with their homework from time to time, but they knew it was their responsibility to get it done and hand it in. I wanted them to know that it was an important step toward stability and completion. They all three graduated, so I feel I must have done something right along the way when it came to lending a hand.
As the wife of a teacher, I can attest to the fact that a surprising number of parents take on the responsibility of their kids' homework. They also do their science projects, research papers, college essays, and most importantly, they create excuses for why their kid 'didn't, couldn't, or shouldn't' do the work. While I understand the desire to help your children in all things (I have four myself), doing the work for them or being their daily hammer has the opposite effect. Frequently, the kids who receive the most ‘support’ from their parents graduate from high school completely incapable of motivating themselves. In the real adult world, being a self-directed person who feels pride in their work and has the ability to deal with the stress of deadlines is required. As parents we should not be raising children. We should be preparing developing adults for the challenges of life. Thanks for the soapbox, Carol!
This is the first year that my daughter has to manage the assignments for four teachers. For the most part, she has a daily ledger where she tracks assignments and home work, but we do ask her what she has to do, if it is done, if she has any questions, etc. I do think that periodically checking EDLINE is a good idea since you can see if your child is struggling with classwork, which was something we were unaware of until a progress report came home. Though her grades were good, we could see which topics in class gave her the most trouble.
Great article - and something I will remember when I have kids!
Critical thinking is fast becoming an urban legend in the U. S. It is also why we're ranked so low (what is it? 25th?) among industrialized nations when it comes to education. Pushing our kids to mirror whatever is in a book without guiding them to think about it, the causes and effects, or postulate pre- and post-scenarios, produced our follow-the-fad last couple generations and our wholesale acceptance of consumerism over productivity, outsourcing over domestic, passive over active. We're not only consciously and literally allowing the world to catch and pass us by here in the U. S., the greater majority is simply satisfied to watch it all do so on our wall mounted 72" HDTV or read about it in a Twitter on our iPad...