How to Get Naked with Your Partner

There comes a time in every relationship when it's time to get naked in front of each other. This can be a difficult but important step in your relationship. But I'm going to take the time and break it down in five simple steps that will get you showing off your stuff in the buff in about 30-40 minutes.

Step 1: Remove shoes.
(Note: If you're a polite person and you've checked your shoes at the door, then proceed to Step 2.)

This is the first and foremost part. You've done this plenty of times before, but the complexity of the situation might make you a bit nervous. If your shoes are equipped with laces then you will have to untie them until the walls of your shoes are loose enough to slip your feet out. If you're wearing shoes or sandals that are equipped with velcro straps then you will have to undo these straps (try not to wince at the velcro noise). If your shoes don't have straps or laces, then there is nothing to worry about; simply ease your feet out of the shoe.

Step 2: Remove socks.
Shedding your socks is similar to that of the shoes, however there should be no laces or straps. Simply slip your thumbs inside the socks and slowly ease the socks around the base of your feet. In the event that you are reading this in 1998 and you are wearing toe-socks then you will have to grip the ends of the toe slings and wiggle your toes out. When the sock is pulled halfway down the soles of your feet you have the option of either gripping the sides of the socks with your thumbs and pulling or grabbing the end of the socks and pulling them off that way. Once you can see your bare feet, proceed to Step 3.

Step 3: Remove shirt(s).
There are different variations of shirts, so I realize that my instructions might be pretty generalized. If you are wearing a hoodie or a coat, you will need to remove this before you attempt to remove the shirt. Once you can see your shirt, grip the hem of the sleeve with one hand and slip your arm out. With your unclothed arm, grip the opposite sleeve and repeat this process. Now you should have both your arms out of the sleeves, but they're still underneath the base of the shirt. You may need assistance from your partner with this one, otherwise you should be able to use your arms as a wedge to move your shirt up and over your head. Once you've removed your shirt and you realize that there is another shirt underneath, then repeat these steps until you see your skin.

Step 4: Remove pants.
If you are wearing a belt you will need to at least loosen the clasp on the front in order to complete this step. It's not necessary to remove the belt from your pants; you're only delaying the inevitable. If you are wearing suspenders, then it's a miracle that you've managed to complete Step 3. Pants come with a variety of zippers, buttons, clasps, knobs and three-lock boxes, but they are all easy to undo. Take a moment to think about when you first put on these pants and how you zipped them or buttoned them. Now complete this process in reverse. Once your pants are loose enough that they need the support of your hands to stay on, then simply let go and they should fall to the floor. Lifting one leg at a time, step out of the pants.

Step 5: Remove underwear.
(Note: If you're not wearing underwear then there is no need to follow Step 5. Gross.)

For men, simply grip the top hem of your boxers, briefs or long underwear and pull them down until they fall to the floor. Similar to the pants in Step 4, use your legs to step out of the underwear.
For women, remove the bra like you normally remove the bra. I don't know how this is done, so consult your prior experience in removing this article of clothing. If you don't know how to remove the bra, I'd use some scissors or something. If you really want to impress your partner, flex your muscles enough until you burst through the bra like Pamela Anderson would do. In regards to removing the panties, I'm sure this is done similar to men's underwear. If I'm wrong, then figure it out for yourself.

If you have successfully completed all five steps, you should be naked. Congratulations! Now that this stage in your relationship is done, put your clothes back on quickly before you start laughing at each other.