How to Negotiate a Visitation Schedule

Negotiating a visitation schedule for your child can be very crucial. Many factors need to be taken in to consideration when creating a visitation schedule. The schedule needs to be negotiated by both parents (or guardians), but needs to be in the best interest of the child. Due to custody battles, the adults can some time think more about what fits their schedule, or what they want, and not enough of what's the best for the child.

Both parents should sit down and discuss what they would like to see in the schedule. At this point the child (or children) should not be present. This should be an "adult time" for both parents to discuss their concerns about what they want, and feel, would be appropriate for the child. Both parents should take into consideration what activities or events the child is involved in. Any extra-curricular activities need to be discussed immediately and also put into perspective while scheduling the visitation. This way, each parent will know what the child has commitments to so that if they choose to have the child that day, they will be prepared to participate in those events or at least be able to make sure the child will be there to attend (ie. If the child has soccer practice on Tuesdays, then the parent who chooses to have the child on Tuesdays needs to be prepared to make sure the child will be at the practice).

After an agreeable schedule has been met and both parents can insure that they will be able to meet the requirements, they should then bring in the child. Discuss the schedule with the child and ask them if they have any questions and if the child is happy with the decision. Be sure to take all concerns from the child seriously. If the child feels that he would rather have Dad take him to practice then by all means try to adjust that. If that's not possible because Dad has to work on Tuesdays, then try to bargain with the child. If Mom takes him to practice, then Dad promises to be there at his games!

Negotiating a visitation schedule can be very complicated at times. In some cases, the parents need to disregard their own feeling to insure that the child has a healthy schedule. Bouncing back and forth from place to place every night while Mom and Dad are fighting about who gets the child tonight can be very harmful. Not only will it be bad for the child mentally, but his education and social life may also suffer as a result of a poor visitation schedule. Therefore, be sure to take the CHILD into consideration when planning the visitation schedule.