How the No Frills Act is Changing Health and Fitness in Our Federal Prisons

The weight benches are breaking down, one by one, and as they go they're not being replaced. Under H.R. 663, the "No Frills Act", weight benches, resistance-based exercise equipment, and pumping iron are among the frills being targeted. Instead, inmates at our federal prisons are being told to run, walk, play sports, and engage in other aerobic and cardio-friendly forms of exercise. Existing weights at existing facilities are allowed to remain in place until damaged beyond use. For everyone else, it's time for step aerobics and Burpees class.

Not all exercise equipment is out, however. Jump ropes, ab wheels, and the rubberized plastic steps for step aerobics abound. Higher-end equipment may be purchased, too: treadmills, stationary bikes, and stair steppers may be available, depending on the facility.

Inmates don't like being told how they can and can't exercise, of course. A healthy heart and low body mass index are all well and good, but prison tattoos just don't look as good without rippling triceps beneath them. Fortunately, there are ways get in a good weight set, even at a prison without grandfathered-in weights.

Those step aerobic steps? They weigh about as much as a barbell. It might not feel like much at first, but you'll feel a burn if you do enough reps. And many prisons include medicine balls in their inventory, which although not weights are certainly weighty. Aerobic-intended equipment like stationary bikes can provide a resistance-based workout if they're cranked up to 'peddling-through waist-deep oatmeal' settings.

A little creativity may be needed to find additional equipment. Doesn't that industrial shower curtain rod in the bathroom look like a pull-up bar? Could I do dips, or inverted push-ups, on that chair? that bleacher? that ironing board? Isn't an iron the ideal thing to pump, in fact? At at least one facility, the de rigeur improvised weight set is seven hundred AA batteries wrapped in a t-shirt, the ideal tool to charge up your upper-body circuit.

In the end, the one weight that beats out all the others - improvised and contraband - is body weight. Even for those who have the choice of fancier routines, there is much to be said for the well-executed set of thirty straight-backed push-ups, whether it's on a bleacher, a grassy hill in the rec yard, or the floor of one's cell. Add to that a liberal helping of crunches and dips, a brisk jog and a few clandestine pull-ups before your shower, and you've got the new prison workout.

Just look at those tattoos rippling now.