How Not to Break Up with Someone

Relationships are wonderful when they are good but they are hard work and require a whole lot of patience as well. So, what happens when you realize you and the person you are dating just are not right for each other anymore? How do you break up with them the right way? I have come up with some tips on how NOT to break up with someone.

1) Don't break up via email - This method is cruel and cowardly. You and this person have been dating awhile so why can't you just be the better person and tell them face to face that you don't want to be with them anymore? Let the person know why you feel the way you feel. This could help the other person move on and they will also know why you are breaking up and will have the chance to fix the problem in future relationships.

2) Don't break up over the phone - Again this method is cowardly. If you don't want to be with this person any more just tell them face to face. Make a "break up" date and try to work it into the dinner conversation that you don't want to be with them anymore. This way you are in a public place with lots of people around and more than likely the other person won't want to make a scene. Just make sure to explain to them why you are breaking up with them so they aren't left wondering what they did wrong. You did at one point love this person so treat them with respect.

3) Don't have a friend break up for you - Yep, cowardly and just plain rude. Your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn't dating your friend, they were dating you. Whenever possible leave your friends out of your break ups.

4) Don't just stop calling - You're soon to be ex deserves a chance to get to hear it from you that you don't want to be with them anymore. Don't make them worry what happened to you. If you just stop calling this can cause a jaded ex to "look" for you endlessly. Just tell them the truth and chances are they will understand. Yes they will be upset but they will eventually get over you.

5) Don't use the line "It's Not You It's Me" - To start any conversation with you're soon to be ex with this line should be banned. This is a generic line that has no meaning to it. If it wasn't that person, chances are you would still be with them and not breaking up with them. Whenever someone hears this line they automatically know it's a bunch of B.S., so don't use it. Again, just tell them the truth as to why you are breaking up with them.

6) Don't use the line "We can still be friends" - We all know that this line is said just to make the other person feel better. You and I know that you will never again see you're soon to be ex so why say it? Just like the above line this one should be banned from the book of break ups. It's just like your mom said when you were growing up "It's always best to tell the truth." Telling an ex that "We can still be friends" sends that person mixed feelings and may cause that person to "stick" around. The whole point of a break up is to move on so don't use this line.

7) Don't start a meaningless fight - Don't start a fight in the hopes that your significant other will get so mad that they will be the one who breaks up with you. This is just a cop-out when it comes to break ups. Like stated above, you, at one point, loved this person, so they deserve a respectable break up from you (if there is such a thing).

As long as you tell the person the truth and are not mean or rude, the break up should go relatively smooth. Yes, there will be hurt feelings and tears but you have to remember the other person may not know that you had been planning to break up with them. When you make the "break up" date with them just be to the point, explain why you are breaking up with them, let them know if you want to continue to have communications with them or not and don't be rude. If you do decide to "remain friends" be sure to set up boundaries for your ex. This will help avoid messy situations once you start dating again.

It may take some time for the other person to move on but they will eventually get the point that you no longer wish to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. Break ups don't always have to be messy and heartless.