How Not to Disagree with Your Spouse About Parenting Your Child

Every now and then parents find themselves in total disagreement about a decision concerning their child or children. It is going to happen, but here are a few tips that may help out when you find yourselves in this situation.

First of all when you disagree, simply step back from the situation and think about a point that you do agree on. For example, you have both decided to give the child an allowance. However, you can not agree on an amount.

This leads us to our next tip. Make sure you discuss the situation and not argue about it. Talk calmly and quietly and do not get defensive. Always make sure that you listen to each other. When one is talking there should be no interruption, and the other one should not speak until their partner has completed their thoughts. Once each of you have had a chance to talk, write down your key points and review them together going over each one thoroughly.

Next you should always work together (as a team). Make sure that both of you tell the child/children the same thing and give them the same answer. If one says "no", then make sure both say "no". If one tells the child/children that they must be home by 10:00 p.m. then the other should not disagree or protest that decision (especially in front of the child/children). If you do disagree then talk about it once the child has left the room or house. Never let the child see or hear you disagree. This is when they take it to their advantage and play you against each other so they can get their way. Do not let that happen.

Always stay consistent with the child/children. If one parent is watching them one day and the other the next day, make sure you tell them the same things. If for some reason there is a certain time of the day that you do not want them to play outside or you want them to clean their play area, make sure your spouse knows this so they can also enforce that rule.

Learning to be flexible is also a very important step in decision making for parents. If you must consult someone or a book on parenting, do so. An example goes back to the allowance. Let us say one parent wants to give them $2.00 and the other wants to give them just $1.00, compromise by deciding to give them just what they deserve for that week. If they do all of their chores and do not put up a fuss, then they deserve the larger amount. If they do not do them or back talk you when you ask them, then they do deserve the smaller amount or none at all. This is usually the simple way for the parents to agree.

Therefore, being a parent is difficult enough without the parents blowing a decision making process out of proportion. Stay calm cool and collected and talk it out. You will be glad you did.

Source:

Personal experience of disagreeing with my husband

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