How NOT to Dress like a Tourist

A Humorous Look at Major Vacationer Fashion Fails

K. F. Lynn
Fanny-packs, safari hats and money pouches: I realize that you're on vacation, but that doesn't mean that your fashion taste has to go out for an extended lunch, too. Yes, summer is upon us and with summer comes vacation. Vacations can be beautiful things; going to a new place, exploring, taking pictures and buying souvenirs. However, if you've ever been on vacation and find yourself asking, "How did you know?" when a local asks you if you're there on holiday, here's a secret: It's because tourists stick out like a sore thumb. While tourist gear may be convenient and comfortable, it is far from flattering and believe it or not, gets you pegged for unequal treatment by locals and scammers - if you look like a tourist, you're more likely to get ripped off on shopping deals. Here are some typical tourist get-ups and more stylish alternatives that will keep you off the worst-dressed list list summer!

Fanny-packs. Or any tiny, awkward stuff-holding tote for that matter. Sure, they seem like a good idea at the time; you'll be doing a lot of walking and need a place to put your water bottle/camera/hotel keys, etc. However, that doesn't mean that what you hold it all in has to be atrocious. Instead of a fanny-pack, opt for a cross-chest or over the shoulder sling bag, such as this one. Men, I didn't forget about you. Guys should carry messenger-style bags, in brown or black like this great one by Fossil.

Capri pants. "But what's the matter with capri pants?!" Oh nothing, provided you're wearing the right kind. But this is a mistake that I see tourists make time and time again. They want to pack something for all weather conditions, which is understandable: shorts for hot days, pants for cold days and capri pants for days that fall somewhere in between. But, not all capris are created equal and not all people are, either - fashion-wise, anyway. Buying a pair of pants that are marked as "capri-cut" and calling it day is not how to do it. Think about it: everyone is a different height, which means that "capri" for me at 5'9" will not fit the same way for someone who is only 5'3". The way to look at it, is that depending upon how tall you are, your capri-fit will hit your leg differently. Here is a general rule of thumb: Capri pants should not hit your calf any lower than 1/3 of the way below your knee. If they are shorter than that, they look like cargo shorts - which would be okay, if we were still in 2001. If they are longer than that, they look like highwaters - never, ever a cute look. Men this goes for you, too! Wear either shorts or pants; I get that the whole baggy-shorts thing is in (according to some people anyway), but when it looks like your pants are just a few inches too short, you will not be impressing anybody.

Sweatshirt around the waist. This is not 1985. The intent behind this fashion mistake is noble; if you are out traveling all day, you will want something warm in case wherever you are gets chilly, but tying it around your hips provides the perfect fix if you get too hot for it - right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. This absolutely screams "tourist," and there is such an easy solution. Remember those bags we talked about earlier? The ones that we'll be using from now on instead of this? You want to wear a light sweater; preferably a cardigan or something of a similar light material that does not wrinkle easily, like this. When you become too warm, just take it off and put it inside of the bag that you're carrying with you. Men, you too! Cardigans are very fashionable for men right now, and they will give you a cute, polished and sophisticated look that you can play up by having either a solid or printscreen tee underneath.

Have fun with it, boys and girls. Remember, that tourists have had a bad reputation for far too long! Next time you're on holiday, make the locals surprised to hear that you're from out of town!

Published by K. F. Lynn - Featured Contributor in Beauty and Lifestyle

An editor by trade, K.F. runs her own small business, InkScratch Editing. As a part of this business, she works with writers and aspiring writers to prepare manuscripts, and acts as a plot consultant. Ov...  View profile

1 Comments

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  • Jeff Rogers5/4/2010

    "Donde esta el bano?" (Jeff adjusts his fanny pack and begins to loosen his waist tied sweater. Great article, very funny and helpful.

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