How Not to Give a Job Interview

I have given many job interviews, and less than about 5% of them have been successful. I thought it would only be appropriate that I share some of my wisdom in how to not give a job interview since I seem to be very good at it.

Note that I am not an expert in giving job interviews nor will everything I write in this article be based on facts. The views are highly biased based on experiences I have had with job interviews. So here are tips on how not to give job interviews. You can probably figure out how you can improve your interviewing from these 7 things you should not do when it comes to giving a job interview.

0. Be completely honest, and just be yourself.
This is the number one rule (or the number zero rule). Any question you are asked, give a 100% honest answer. This, for some people might be the reason they get the job, but for me is usually the reason I DON'T get the job. This is numbered 0 because it is the basis for almost every other tip that will follow.

1. Assume you will figure out how to get to the job interview site on your own.
I have done this many times. I usually have an idea of where the place is, but when the time comes to find it, somehow end up in a different city. I have missed many job interviews due to the fact that I couldn't find the place. Mapquest is your friend!

2. When they say "business professional attire", assume they are just mispronouncing your name and wear shorts and a t-shirt to the job interview.
I have also done this one. Apparently business professional includes dress shirt, dress pants, dress shoes, coat, tie, and all that other fancy stuff. For some jobs, they feel it is important to dress up for the job interview.

3. When they ask you where you see yourself 5 years from now, talk about your goals 5 years from now that are totally unrelated to your career goals.
I have done this also. I see myself improving my chess skills. Sometimes it is good to talk about your career goals and tell them you possibly see yourself finding an even better job than what you will be doing in the next 4 years.

4. When they ask you why you chose to apply with their company, ask them what their company is called, what they do, and what exactly you ended up applying for.
Yep, I've done this too. I had applied to so many places, went to so many interviews, that I wasn't able to keep track of which interview was for which position for which company. Apparently, for some odd reason, the hiring managers don't like it when you don't know what company or what position you are applying for.

5. When they ask you why they should hire you, go into detail as to why you don't like your current job, and are looking for something that pays higher and would leave the job you are applying for in a heartbeat if you ended up finding something later that paid even higher.
Yes, I have done this. It is puzzling why they would want an answer that helps them see what you would be contributing to their organization.

6. When they ask for your resume, give them something that is written in 8 point font and all the words are spaced so close together, the entire resume looks like a square block of tiny dots.
Somehow, I have done this also. I printed it off of notepad and the text size ended up being very small and hard to read, oh well.

7. At the end of the interview, when they ask you "So what do you think?" let them know that what they said or asked you during the job interview made no sense to you.
Yes, I've done it. I always have trouble giving a detailed answer to vague questions with anything other than honesty for some reason. I really don't know what kind of answer they want from this, but try to not tell them you had no clue what they were talking about. I once told them I stopped paying attention to what they were saying so I really have no opinion or can't really give an accurate answer to their question. For me, during job interviews, honesty = bad.

One would think that when someone gathers enough experience in knowing what to do in not to give a job interview successfully, they will know what they need to not do in order to give a job interview successfully. This is not the case with me, I get wiser and wiser every day in how to not give a job interview.