How Not to Pick Huckleberries with Your Closest Friends and Family

Today I went huckleberry picking with my friends. I actually had a great time. However, satire being what it is buckle-up and hang on for a fun and hilarious ride through the valleys of how not to go huckleberry picking with your friends.

*** Location Location Location ***

Even before we started I learned my first lesson. If you don't like windy gravel roads with mammoth potholes, be sure you know where you are going before you get there. After pitching to and fro like a sack of potatoes for over an hour I was more than ready to walk the rest of the way. Fortunately it was about that time that we arrived at the location we had been heading for.

*** Boxing Boxers ***

Finally, with box in hand I headed up the hill with my quest for berries being in full gear. Collecting my bounty of delicious delicacies I prepare for my next set of bushes. Who knew the stick laying on the ground would make the stick that my box was sitting on move in such a way that my box would go flying into the air sending berries this way and that. What a great event for a comedy, but reality stank to be sure.

*** What Trail? ***

Hansel & Gretal must have got their start picking huckleberries for they knew to lay a path of crumbs. Up into the brambles and bushes, you know "where the really good berries are" it can be most difficult to find where you have come from. Perhaps this is why so many people lose their way and get eaten by grizzly bears while berry picking. Okay, maybe that doesn't happen like clockwork but the point is still the same isn't it?

And speaking of brambles, did you know that the woods have sticky little things that have more adhesiveness than superglue? They do. My legs found that out after a day with shorts and hair. No real worries hear though as long as you pull them off faster than a Band-Aid. Wait, on second thought.

*** Finally Home ***

Finally home, you think it just might be time to relax. That's when your wife announces that cleaning time has just commenced. No, not your legs but the huckleberries are in need of washing, bagging and freezing. And, of course, you spent the entire day up on that mountain and the time being 11PM seems like a good prelude to bed. But no, that's yet to come for several hours because of your silly little huckleberries.

*** Bottom Line ***Next time you go gather berries with your closest friends and family, or even huckleberry picking you now know how not to pick those little morsels of delight.