How NOT to Please Christians on Good Friday

Some guests of a Manhattan hotel can rest easy knowing a fellow traveler will not be seen. He's quiet, keeps to himself and takes up very little space but still, they would have had a difficult time avoiding him and the controversy he's created.

The guest in question is a six-foot statue of Jesus made entirely of chocolate. Dubbed "My Sweet Lord" by its creator Cosimo Cavallaro, the figure was scheduled for display at the Roger Smith Hotel in New York for Holy Week, ending Easter Sunday. That day marked a special viewing from midnight to one a.m.

Aside from the obvious, calculated timing of the statue's unveiling (the sculpture gallery's creative director says the timing of the unveiling was an "unfortunate coincidence"), and the ridiculous appearance of the figure (by the way, it's anatomically correct where that sort of thing counts and there's no loin cloth), what's astounding is the surprise those involved with the sculpture expressed at the religious community's response.

The aforementioned creative director, Matt Semler said, "We're obviously surprised by the overwhelming response and offense people have taken." Well what did you think would happen Matt? Did you think you could unveil a nude statue of the most revered religious figure in history, a figure many consider God in the flesh and not make people angry? Are we to believe you're so insulated in your "art" community you really had no idea this would offend people?

No, this was indeed calculated and designed to generate the exact sort of buzz it's getting (yes, I know I'm contributing to the buzz and that irks me somewhat). The feigned surprise of Cavallaro and his keeper is laughable, as is the statue itself. Really, once you see the thing it's not that impressive.

The face has very little detail and the only thing anatomically correct is the pelvic region. The rest of the figure looks gaunt and weak as if it was derived from photos of Holocaust victims. Only someone who's never familiarized themselves with Jesus' life would conceive him thus. The man was a carpenter. He cut, lifted and smoothed heavy wood before shaping it with his hands into something useful. No way was he the effeminate pansy portrayed in this sculpture.

But see that's the point. Cavallaro did not familiarize himself with his subject at all. He chose it, the medium and the timing of the unveiling as pure self-aggrandizement. He couched his expression in a sweet solid to hide his flagrant ignorance. His Jesus is a sweet, skinny wimp who is much less threatening than the muscular carpenter who was strong enough to be tender and compassionate. Cavallaro's Jesus is much easier to control and so, is subject to his creator which is ironic considering the opposite is true.

With his hands, this "artist" fashioned an object of mockery and divisiveness that will disappear on the ash heap of history. With His hands, his subject fashioned a world-wide faith of healing and unity that's lasted more than two-thousand years.

Can't understand why anyone's upset, Cosimo.