How Not to React While Speaking with a Person Who Stutters

In a sense, stuttering is something we all do; we stop and start over in the middle of sentences, stammer over words we've said a thousand times, and generally stumble through our speech almost every time we open our mouths. However, there are those of us whose stuttering goes beyond that of normal disfluency.

Approximately 1% of the world's population consists of people who stutter. With statistics like that, however uncommon, you are bound to run into at least one person with this condition at one point or another.

Here are some ways in which you should not react while speaking with a person who stutters:

Do not look away.

We are taught that staring is rude, especially if the person in question is noticeably different in some way. So, to avoid staring, we tend to look away when passing a person, say, in a wheelchair, for example. Many times, this tendency is transferred when speaking to a person who stutters. Don't do it!

Breaking eye contact with a speaker signals that we have stopped listening. Whether we intend to or not, breaking eye contact creates tension for the speaker, rushing him or her and generally causing the stuttering to get worse. No matter how uncomfortable or rude it seems to you, maintaining normal eye contact lets the speaker know that you are listening and paying attention to what he or she is saying.

Do not finish sentences.

It can be a little painful to watch a person struggle to finish a word or sentence, but it can be equally frustrating for the person who stutters when others are constantly putting words in their mouths. Feeding words to a person who stutters may feel like you're helping him or her out, but, in fact, it can be down right insulting. What you can do is wait patiently and take your turn when you know he or she has finished.

Do not interrupt.

You can probably read the paragraph above one more time and get the idea. Speaking is easier when you don't have to worry about being cut off in the middle of a thought. To avoid the urge to interrupt, try concentrating on what the person is saying instead of how he or she is saying it.

Do not speak louder.

This should go without saying, but speaking louder will not help anyone to stutter less. For most of us, speaking louder isn't a conscious decision, but a natural reaction particularly when speaking to someone who sounds different, whether it is a different dialect, accent, or language. Just be aware of your volume and modify it when necessary.

Do not speak faster.

It can be nerve-racking to remember to maintain eye contact, avoid interrupting, keep from filling in, all while making sure your volume isn't higher than normal. All this self-awareness can cause a speaker to speed up. Again, keep your speech natural. We all instinctively match the rates of our conversation partners, so imagine a person who stutters rushing to keep up with our 75-mile-an-hour speech rate and control stuttering at the same time. The aim is not to speak unnaturally slow, but to keep your speech pace natural and relaxed.

My intention is not to suggest that people who stutter should be tip-toed around. Neither is it to bog down people who do not stutter with rules to follow while conversing with people who do. In fact, the above guidelines could be applied to any situation involving speaking and listening. So, make every conversation a good one, whether your partner is a person who stutters or not.

If you are a person who stutters, please give your input. Do you agree? Disagree? Have something to add?