How Not to Talk to Your Children About Sex: 7 Tips

Most parents want to avoid the subject entirely, but as long as you steer clear of these 7 traps, you really can't go wrong.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #1 - Assume that your child will learn everything he or she will need to know at school.

Many, many parents fall into this trap. It just avoids the entire sensitive discussion between parent and child. However, do you really want your child to get his or her entire sex education from school, or as is more commonly the case, from their friends? Having a simple, straightforward discussion can clear up a lot of misinformation and nagging questions for your child.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #2 - Wait until your child has his or her first date, or begins middle school, before you broach the subject of sex.

Your child will learn about sex a lot sooner than you think thanks in part to our hyper-sexualized entertainment industry. You need to be prepared to deal with questions regarding sex, as innocent as they might be, when your child is in early elementary school. You don't have to explain everything at once (nor should you), but neither should you completely avoid the subject until he or she is older.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #3 - Give your children the impression that you waited until marriage before you had sex.

It is easy to try and make yourself appear perfect in the eyes of your child, but the fact is that most people have sex before they are married. You may wish to instill in your child that sex is best left within the context of marriage, but you should also be upfront with how difficult that can be, especially when taking into consideration that more people are waiting until they are older before they get married. A better message might be to wait until you are ready and are in love before you think about having sex.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #4 - Just tell your child that he or she can come to you with any questions regarding sex without explaining anything at all.

Some parents, in an attempt to talk to their children about sex without really saying much of anything at all, simply tell their children that he or she can come to their parents with any questions with regards to sex. This is a great message, and it helps to keep the lines of communication open between you and your children. However, more needs to be said. If it isn't, you are right back to having your children learn about sex from school and their friends.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #5 - Assume that your teenager is having sex, or will have sex, during their high school years.

Only about half of all teenagers (it might actually be even less) engage in sexual activity during their high school years. There is no need to automatically accuse your teenage child of having sex simply due to the fact that he or she is in high school and may have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You just need to be prepared for questions that may arise, and help ensure that your child knows the facts.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #6 - Give your children the impression that sex will ruin their lives without explaining how they can protect themselves.

Some parents use scare tactics when it comes to sex. They send the message, whether implicitly or explicitly, that sex will ruin their lives, period. Fortunately for the human race, the truth is much more complex. You child needs to know that while sex does have the potential to ruin their lives (especially unprotected sex), it is also a beautiful expression of love between two people.

Talking to your kids about sex tip #7 - Completely ignore the fact that your children will grow up to be sexual beings.

It is almost cliché that both parents and children like to regard each other as truly asexual beings (even though it is a very true cliché that allow some people to sleep at night), but unfortunately for us all, all parents and most children are sexual beings after a certain age. If parents weren't sexual beings, there would be no children, and if children didn't grow up to be sexual beings, there would be no grandchildren. As much as you would like to avoid it, as a parent, you will eventually have to talk to your children about sex.