How to Nurture Children and Their Family Members Part 1

Our children need wholesome role models, to learn from, and emulate. Therefore it's vital that we are fully aware of the influences that are present in their lives, and the likely impact on them. If children spend a lot of time watching TV, playing computer or electronic games during their formative years, they will be adversely affected by them. We need to follow the classifications conscientiously, and let them know how we feel about the anti-social and inappropriate behaviour shown on the media, such as violence and lying. Teaching values needs to be done on an ongoing basis, preferably in the context of what is happening in our lives, at the time. It is vital to make sure that our children are having plenty of time for play, active experiences, social interaction and so on. If we are handing our child over to another adult, we need to ensure that we know this person extremely well, and that he is likely to set a good example.

Collaborate with each other

Whilst raising our children, we will often need to collaborate with other parents, carers and teachers. Our children need to see us discussing issues calmly, being assertive, listening carefully, co-operating and problem solving for win-win solutions. This will provide a healthy example for our children to follow.

Allow for differing temperaments in the family

It is wise to remember that each child and adult is born with a different temperament. Some are easy-going, some feisty, and others sensitive. We therefore, can't treat our children the same, as each child is unique, with differing needs. Their personality develops over time, according to the way they are nurtured, and the experiences they have. A sensitive child, for example, may need longer to adapt to a new situation, and a child with lots of energy may need to spend more time, in an area that enables him to move around more.

Varying family dynamics

Having different combinations of family members, can be stimulating and helpful, for everyone in the family. Particular set roles can be challenged and changed for a time. This can allow members to take on different responsibilities, to get to know other members more fully, and to try different activities.

Be aware of everyone's needs

Children need to feel noticed and special, when they master a new skill. We, as parents, need to give undivided attention to our children frequently, when they are proud of learning a skill, or have seen or heard something of special interest to them.

In order to emotionally support our children, we need to give lots of affection, express love, listen reflectively, and validate them. Encouraging children to think of solutions, and give their own ideas, will boost their self-esteem. Support, thanks and patience will be of enormous benefit to them also. Music and creative experiences need to be offered, to calm and empower our children.

Our children require many social activities with children and adults of all age groups. We can also organise play dates, sleep overs, parties and camps to aid their social development.

Physical activities, that we can arrange for our children include, going to a park each week, and setting up space, inside and out, for active play. Encouraging use of large muscles experiences such as climbing, running, jumping, hopping and walking, will foster this. We can join in some of the time too. Large thick mats are great for children to bounce around on, too. We can also give them opportunities to develop fine motor control, such as sand, dirt and dough play.

Children naturally want to learn, and are very curious. We need to promote this innate behaviour. It is amazing what they are capable of teaching themselves, if we support them emotionally. It's very important to provide suitable books, games and materials that will foster thinking, problem solving and remembering. We can also ask them lots of questions, and ask their opinions on various subjects.

Children's language development will be stimulated with a lot of conversation, stories, books, songs and rhymes.

Enjoyment

Enjoyment needs to be a high priority for everyone. Our emotional well-being depends on large doses of fun and games. A functional family will provide a balance of activities, and allow for each member to have their particular needs met. Each family member has their own interests and talents, and these need to be catered for.

Have a consistent parenting plan

Our children will feel more secure, and will be better able to predict what is going to happen, if we have a consistent parenting plan. They will be less confused and fearful, and less likely to act out.

Foster individuality

Each family member has his own personality, interests and talents, and these need to be accepted and developed fully. If a child is not particularly interested in playing tennis or the clarinet, for example, it is unwise to push him to that end. It is advantageous to observe and listen to our children, and to find out what they have a passion for. It is great to encourage them to try different activities, and to accept that they may become excited about entirely different things, to their parents. Eg. You may want your child to become involved in football, because you have always played and loved this sport, but your child may wish to learn the guitar. It is unfair to push our children into pursuits, they have no enthusiasm for.

Each child has the right to be appreciated for his uniqueness.

Negotiate successfully

Teaching and role modelling the skill of negotiation, will give our children an invaluable tool in their lives. It is amazing how often we use it, and feel empowered and fulfilled, when we achieve a solution that appeals to each person.

Eg. Letting a friend come over on a Saturday, instead of a school night, when our child asks for a friend to stay the night.

With children over 3 years old, we can discuss each others needs, and come up with a solution that satisfies everyone. There may need to be some compromise.

Foster independence

Independence is to be encouraged as early as possible in children, so that they feel important, competent, empowered and responsible. This will cut down on the amount of work that parents need to do, as well. Once a child can manage a task, she should be expected to perform that task, as a matter of routine. Children that have too much done for them by others, lose initiative and learn helplessness. They wonder if they have what it takes. We need to be aware of the characteristics we want our children to have, when they are adults. Eg In the workplace, and in relations with others.