How to Be an Obnoxious Liberal

Liberals! Please remember you are not Meathead any more than I am Archie Bunker. However, if you really feel the need to be an obnoxious liberal, here's how.

1. Assume that anyone who is a conservative needs to be educated and you're just the person to do it. Obnoxious liberals frequently assume that we poor conservatives just need to be properly educated on the issues. The obnoxious liberal thinks that if they just educate these ignorant conservative people they will be transformed into good card carrying liberals. Conservatives will be magically changed like Ebenezer Scrooge's transformation in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Guess what, many of us are well read and have intelligent opinions that just don't agree with the obnoxious liberals in our community.

2. Assume that anyone that isn't an obnoxious liberal is uncivilized. The obnoxious liberal believes that all conservatives are bigoted Archie Bunker types. We'd all perform in black face minstrel shows and burn crosses on some poor person's lawn. Nothing could be further from the truth. I grew up as a conservative and I was raised to accept and respect different people's ethnicity. In fact my parents would have rather I dropped the f-bomb than use the n-word.

3. Assume that your point of view is morally superior and use every chance you have to shove it in everyone's face. The obnoxious liberal believes that he or she has some sort of patent on morality. If a conservative votes against abortion or higher taxes the obnoxious liberal believes he or she is morally bankrupt. Again we are well read people with intelligent opinions that just happen to be the polar opposite of the you, the obnoxious liberal. That does not make us morally bankrupt just different from you.

4. Assume that all conservatives are cousin-marrying Bible-beaters. The obnoxious liberal thinks that all conservatives hail from backwoods communities. The movie Deliverance comes to mind. We are not all married to our cousins. I'm a Christian but not all of us are Christians any more than all obnoxious liberals are atheists.

5. Assume that those who did not vote for Barack Obama did so because of his race. I decided against President Obama because he was still only a junior senator with no foreign policy experience. I didn't think he could run the country on charisma alone as many obnoxious liberals did. Time will tell on that one, at least he'll have more self control than Bill Clinton.

6. Assume that all conservatives lack compassion. The obnoxious liberal believes that conservatives don't care about the less fortunate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many conservatives prefer to help the less fortunate in more grass roots efforts where there is less waste of money. Think about it this way: who has more knowledge of those who need help - an obnoxious liberal living in Washington or someone who lives and works in the same community as those in need?

7. Assume that all conservatives are old white men and their trophy wives. This may shock obnoxious liberals but I've had the pleasure of meeting many conservatives who are minorities: blacks, gays, women. We are not just the party of white people and many of us love all our conservative brothers and sisters for their diversity. Yes there are conservatives who don't like minorities but I'll wager there are also obnoxious liberals who don't like minorities too. The sad, shameful thing is bigotry has no limit on political preferences.

8. Assume that all conservatives mean spirited. I've found obnoxious liberals to be much more mean spirited than conservatives. Go to any political rally and you will see obnoxious liberals at their most uncivilized and meanest. The things I've heard them shout at conservatives that are unfit to repeat. Obnoxious liberals are more likely to use swear words on this site when mentioning someone with which they politically disagree. I've met a card carrying obnoxious liberal on this site that felt free to comment on my body size when I disagreed with her and it had absolutely nothing to do with our disagreement. However I never would have made derogatory comments about her ethnic features or called her the n word. Ever.

In any case, if any of you obnoxious liberals encounter a conservative on the street; please check your overbearing obnoxious liberal attitude at the door. Try to be as tolerant with us as we are with you. Remember we want the same things you want -- a well run country in which we can show pride even if it's currently being run by obnoxious liberals.