How to Offer Emotional Support for Parents that Mourn the Death of an Adult Son or Daughter

Parents do not expect to survive their children so when death occurs from a sudden accident or unexpected illness, the grief is a very intense emotion for both fathers and mothers of an adult child.

Mothers bond with their children beginning at conception and most fathers begin to bond when involved in the care of the newborn. As a child grows fathers may have dreams and expectations for the future of their children which intensifies and strengthens that bond.

As a child matures to adulthood, their parents may have expectations regarding future grandchildren, and possible support for their fading years. When those dreams are dashed by the sudden death of a son or daughter it may overwhelm the grieving parents and feelings of depression, emptiness, and sadness may develop into long term grieving.

Recovery from grief varies with the individual, some people can overcome grief quickly, while others can take a year or more depending on the cause or severity of the loss.

Your continued support may be more valuable than ever once the funeral is over and the every day tasks of life continue. The weeks following the services and internment may be the most difficult. Most people may have the best intentions and offer their help, but support for the bereaved usually fades after a few weeks.

As weeks grow into months reality begins to set in, making grief more intense and that is when emotional support is most important. Provide ongoing support by letting the bereaved know that you are willing to be there for them during the coming months.

Stay in touch by periodically checking on them with visits, phone calls, cards or letters.

Let them express their grief, without fear of judgment, or criticism. Let them know that it is okay to cry, get angry or break down in your presence. Remind them that crying does not mean they are weak and that tears of sadness, or loneliness are normal reactions to loss. They may think that you need to know what happened so that you can understand the depth of their grief and repeating the nature of the event is part of the process of accepting death.

You can help the grieving to recover by helping them change their daily routine, invite them out occasionally to a lunch, movie or day of touring or shopping. The special occasions like the holidays, and birthdays may be sensitive times for the bereaved. Invite them to spend special holiday events with you and your family. Include them on holidays, picnic's, other social occasions.