How Old is Old Enough? - Appropriate Dating Ages for Your Teens

Doesn't it seem like kids are maturing faster these days? This difference between this question and one that many parents ask such as "aren't kids much more defiant these days" is that in this case it's true. It appears that kids are rushing to experience everything in society much earlier these days. One of those activities that children are experiencing at an earlier age these days is dating. In the past many kids didn't start dating until high school or maybe in the later years of middle school. Now, it is more common for kids to start "dating" as early as fifth grade. Just because children of today are dating at an earlier age does not mean it's a good thing. Parents must decide how old their own child should be before they start dating. As a parent you have to realize that your child might be influenced by peer pressure but you shouldn't. Just because parents of another child the same age as you child allows them to date doesn't mean you should let your child date. Every parent needs to evaluate their child and the child they might be dating to decide what the best decision is.

A parent must look at their own child and judge their maturity level. It might hurt as a parent to decide their child is not mature enough to date, but in the end it's a decision that might help your child. Keep in mind that once kids start dating their mind quite often is more concerned with their "relationship" than other activities they should be thinking about. It is quite common for school performance to slip among high school kids when they are having "relationship issues" with someone they are dating. Now that kids are dating younger, that means that your child could start to concentrate less on their school work at an earlier age. Also, consider how likely your child is to deal with relationship issues. How will they feel when their relationship ends? How will they feel when one of their friends tries to "date" the person they are dating? How will they react when they have to deal with rumors about their relationship? These things will occur, so as a parent you have to decide if your child is mature enough to handle these issues. If you think it will harm them emotionally in a severe manner then they might be too young to date. Yes, even older children will be harmed when these things happen, but they could be more mature and able to adapt if they are older.

Of course dating is not a one way street. As a parent you should know the child that your child is considering dating. This is especially important if the children are younger than what you view as the "ideal dating age" (and sorry, but 21 is not a realistic dating age!). Do you know the parents of the child that your child is dating? Do you know anything about that child? How mature is the child that your child is dating? These are all items you should consider. If you do not know the other child or their family, maybe you should have an activity that the families do together before the kids start dating. Yes, as kids get older meeting the parents is something that is "down the road" in a relationship quite often. It's different though if children are dating at a younger age. If you feel comfortable about the child your child is dating or their family then it might be easier to say yes to the "dating arrangement".

In the end, the decision about what age your child starts dating is a very personal one. Again, as a parent you can not give in to peer pressure. In the end there is no "ideal age" for children to start dating. It all depends on the maturity of the children and of the person they want to date. Keep in mind though that until they reach a certain age kids should be made to realize that their dates might be supervised or they might be "walked in on" by adults. Just because kids are dating at a younger age these days doesn't mean they have a right to privacy that older dating couples might expect.