How to Organize an Intervention

The plague of alcoholism and drugs is not restricted to the rich and famous. It hits those from "average" families, as well, and may be even more serious, because there are no expensive, discreet, spa-like rehab centers rolling out the red carpet for their affected loved ones, no media coverage to shame them into going into treatment. It is those closest to them who bear the weight of watching as addiction causes someone they care about to self-destruct.

In times past, most families dealt with the issue by not dealing with it. I had an uncle who was an alcoholic. He developed the habit, I was told, after he came home from World War II and, after losing his wife and home, progressively got worse. Still, the family "tolerated" him, because he happened to be one of those drunks who was more pleasant under the influence than he was sober. Although his physical health was impaired and he spent the remainder of his life without any further purpose beyond getting the next drink, no one ever called him into account. When we kids saw him tottering around, the grown folks explained it by saying, "That's just the way your uncle is". During those days, it was just something you accepted. Any thought of sending a relative to "dry out" somewhere would have been simply scandalous then.

Fortunately, we live in a time now where addictions can be addressed and the shame factor once attached to getting help is considerably less.

If you have a person in your life who has been allowing substances, such as methamphetamines, crack cocaine, heroin or alcohol, to adversely control their lives and yours, it's time to consider doing a formal intervention. A formal intervention involves people close to an addict or alcoholic getting together with him or her and respectfully confronting him/ her about the negative behavior in question, the goal being to persuade that person into listening and getting help.

Should you choose to take this radical step, here are some suggestions on how to organize an intervention that will be effective:

Consult a professional first.

Before you endeavor to organize an intervention, it's important for you to speak with and possibly enlist the assistance of a counselor who specializes in doing interventions. Knowing just what to do and how to approach the addict, deciding the right people to participate, etc., can be an overwhelming task.

Talking to someone who has done interventions on numerous occasions and can guide you through all the process will involve will take a lot of stress off you. I highly recommend that the interventionist actually be present, because of his or her knowledge on how to properly direct the event. While it's easy for people close to the addict to be manipulated, there is no such problem for an interventionist, who can easily be objective. He/ she can also help you by preparing a drug rehabilitation facility to be readily available, if the addict/ alcoholic is responsive to the intervention.

Talk to your doctor or call a local drug counselor to ask for recommendations, if you don't know any interventionists.

Meet with everyone who will be involved in the intervention way ahead of time.

It's important that you and everyone else who has agreed to participate in the intervention meet together on at least 2 to 3 occasions prior to the event. You need to inform them what you expect from them and what your ultimate objectives are.

There are bound to be family members and friends who have a lot of anger connected to the addict or alcoholic, particularly if they have suffered personally due to that individual's actions. Some people may feel a great deal of antagonism towards him/her, because they have heard the same empty promises to change before.

All this needs to be aired out ahead of time. Let those vent who want to vent and find out if they are up to the task of being part of the intervention. Let them know that expressing their negative emotions during the intervention is a good way to drive home the point to the addict that they have hurt the people who love them.

Encourage them to write out written statements to read about just how the addiction of their friend or family member has affected them, describe their feelings of anger, betrayal, etc. That way everybody can avoid blurting out things during the heat of the moment.

Vote on where the best place is to meet for the actual event, such as the home of the addict/ alcoholic, a friend or family member's room, etc., any place that doesn't warrant the suspicion of the individual.

Prepare yourself emotionally for resistance from the addict or alcoholic

What you and the other participants in the intervention will be saying to him/ her has probably already been said many times before by you or other people. Don't expect that person to easily give in. Addicts and alcoholics are skilled at avoidance and they are not happy when confronted. You and the other participants will need to prepare yourselves emotionally for verbal assaults being hurled at you, and even having the addict "blame" you for his/ her addiction, in the hopes that making you feel guilty will cause you to lose your resolve. No matter what he/ she says, stand your ground and refuse to be intimidated by psychological games.

Understand that you will have to let go.

Once all has been said and all participants have expressed themselves, let the addict or alcoholic know that if they refuse to get help and go into treatment, they cannot expect you to continue to enable them by supporting them either emotionally or financially. Let them know that you will always love them, but that you refuse to allow them to bring you down anymore or force you to watch them destroy themselves. You won't take them into your home or pay their rent, etc., if they continue living in the same way. Once an addict comes to the realization that you are 100% serious, the reality of what he/ she will have to give up usually hits home. Understand fully that, in order to make your point, you must be willing to let go of that person for his or her own good, until they make the decision to enter treatment.

Most interventions, when properly organized, are effective. When the addict/ alcoholic agrees to get help, they should be taken right away to the rehab facility chosen ahead of time.

Speak with the administrator at the facility, if you have any questions. It's likely that it will be some time before that is possible for you to visit, but cooperate with those involved in helping your loved one overcome their addiction, even if that means that you won't be able to see him/ her for awhile.