How to Get Over a Long Relationship

Why is it that the unattainable is so intriguing? This is the key to why the chase is more exciting than the catch. Listen now, my friends, the unattainable is intriguing, because of the possibility of attaining it. Our minds work funny that way. The chase phase is filled with excitement, allure, and problem solving techniques. It is motivating, not to mention, it heightens our awareness and our self esteem levels. The smallest of details; magnified. We are at the top of our game. Six feet tall and bulletproof; until you get shot.

Our hearts reach out for protective layers. It is human nature to cover and isolate our wounds. Past experiences sometimes cause irreversible damage; unless we are vigilant and keep forging onward. Grab onto a good drink, cozy blanket, and open mind; let's explore the way we mend in a healthy manner.

NEVER TRUST HIM, TRUST YOU

Point number one is simple. Who do you trust? Make certain, it is yourself, before empty words. What are empty words? The promises, phrases, and images we have in the back of our minds; our make believe reality. When we feel the instant jump-starts in our hearts; our minds fog over. We begin looking too far forward. Staying focused is nearly impossible. You are a strong minded individual; use it. Do not forget, people say things they do not mean; sometimes. Also, people say what they feel not what they want or need; when fluttering stomachs are present. Trust your gut and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.

Too late for all that fluff? Did you already fall head over heals; by yourself? How in the world did that happen? Did the words knock you off your feet? Was it the gentle kisses that tied you to the tree? Maybe, it was the pictures of future events that put you in the grave? Whatever it was; it sucked. You were blindsided and injured, but now you are suffering with internal bleeding. Do you feel lost and without any direction? That is perfectly normal. We were setup to fail. First piece of advice, it is not their fault. Has crappy and unlikable as this may sound; you are to blame. Take your focus off them, and move it onto yourself. You need to mend, and no one can do that for you.

BE SAD, ANGRY, THEN FREE

Mourn your loss. Everyone does it differently and at different speeds. Sadness is the first mountain you must climb. It is enormous and exhausting. You think that you cannot take another step, but you do. You fall back when feelings of depression crumble under your footings. The rocky face causes blistering and thirst slows your progress, but you still reach the next checkpoint. Time is a necessary evil; your worst enemy. You will succeed! Giving up is not an option. Stay positive even when that feels shamefully impossible.

The waves of tears drowned you, less often. In fact, you see them coming and take a deep renewing breath. You are standing on the mountain's peak. The second step is upon you. You must endure the anger's landslide. Try as you may, you loose your steady pace and begin running with anger. Anger is a motivator of change, and the instigator. Venting has become part of your daily routine. Yell, scream, cry, and punch the pillow till you have no more energy. Next, talk about your emotions in a safe place. Choose a good friend, family member, or perfect stranger to hear your battle cries. Find hobbies that allow for release: shooting, exercising, sports, and/or writing/drawing. Anything that gives the mind a target, gives your heart a break. Try as you may, you stumble and begin rolling, swiftly, down the mountainside. All the climbing you did;all for not. Why are you back on square one? Where did things go wrong? Now what do you do? You feel like a beaten person. Chin up, my friend. You have survived. Keep remembering,each hour of each day, you made it farther than most have traveled. Giving up is still not an option. Stand up tall. Wipe the dust away. You have made it; with honors. You set a new record for mountain tumbling; congrats!

As your eyes are shifted, from their stare, at the mountain's walls to the awesome field behind; fear emerges. You have reached the third step; the valley of choices. The long, green grasses sway with the subtle wind's breath. The expansiveness is the fear's igniter. You cannot see what is beyond all the openness. You are unsure how to cross it, or where to begin. You almost feel energized, but your focal point is the outside...not the inside. You have never walked so far; all alone. You turn for a last look at the mountain, as you slowly walk from under its shadow. Learning to live your life for you is hard. You forgot what it was you enjoyed. You are starting all over again. This time, you will do it right. You have lessons learned leading you forward. You are free. Free to choose whatever your heart desires. Funny, you cannot identify what those desires are. Do not worry, dear friend. Time is now your companion. Feel free to use it how ever you choose. You now have the rest of your life to live freely.